Prayer

I think I have been neglecting the power of prayer, O Lord. Or perhaps prayer is taking a different form with me. Lord, we prayed a lot this summer with sharing and outreaches and meetings and all of that stuff, but my prayer life wasn’t the same as it used to be. You taught me so much about intercessory prayer this summer and how I saw You work through that in amazing ways! As for my personal prayer life, I know those prayers I prayed You heard and answered in amazing ways, but I believe I could’ve tapped into it more on an individual basis.

Yet I also find myself in closer communion with You than I ever have before. In my thoughts I am conversing with You…it’s not really a conscious choice but something that is happening naturally. And I wonder if this is a facet of prayer for me, in one that I don’t have to be concentrating diligently on it and set aside time to do it, but that it’s becoming a lifestyle. To pray ceaselessly is Your command, O Lord. Is that taking shape in me?

I find You speaking clearly to me when I am conversing with You and realizing that You speak through Your word so clearly and beautifully, O Lord. In the silence I hear Your voice, and that is something You revealed to me today. I can’t run or hide from You, for You are always with me.

I think the solitude I had so often this summer You used in order to teach me this. In being alone with my thoughts, I am alone with You. I learned to be content in the solitude of the world and be in Your presence at the same time. You taught me how to go to the quiet place
no matter where I am at.

I remember one of our outreaches in which I went sharing with Ben. We were talking to these two guys in Marina del Rey and a family passed by, the mom the last one. She heard Ben sharing the gospel and asked him what it was he was talking about. Ben told her, and she pulled her family back, in particular, her son, and told them they must stay and hear what Ben was saying. Her son was extremely uncooperative and kept trying to leave. She held him firmly and told him that it was time for the devil to leave him, that he was going to hear what he once believed and what had changed his life. There was a shouting match of sorts going on, and when allowed to do so, Ben went through the gospel, expressing its main points while the mom forcefully held her son to listen. About halfway through the gospel, the family started pulling away, telling the mom that they had to go, and so the mom asked us to walk with them and keep talking. So off we went in a frenzy and Ben kept going. He got through the gospel and the mom and family thanked us and went off on their way.

Some remarkable things happened during this time. One, that it was an ordained encounter that we were to be there. Another, that I was praying during this time while Ben was talking, and how I prayed to You that the mom would show him love and not the apparent anger she was. I prayed that he would believe in You because You captured his heart, not because of a family thing. And Lord, I prayed that You would give me an opportunity to show him You. The next thing I knew, he turned to me, and started saying how this was all bogus crap and stuff, and I just looked deep into his eyes and I don’t even remember what You said through me, but instantly he changed. The devil was pushed aside for a split second and I saw Your light being manifested in him. He looked at me in amazement, wondering what it was, and I know it was You. That was incredible, O Lord. I saw a glimpse of what Your power is like if we choose to take hold of it. But it was through prayer that I took hold of it.

I honestly don’t know where my prayer life is at right now. I know it has grown in a lot of ways, and has changed a bit as well. I think the question on my mind right now is the fact that You are sovereign…so how do our prayers add to anything You do? I’m not very articulate in stating this question, but I know it is crucial I pray, and will continue to. I pray You will show me the significance of it. I pray You will continue to reveal Yourself through these prayers as You have been in such beautiful ways. And Lord, my last question is, what should my prayer life look like when I’m in such close communion with Your spirit? I thank You for allowing us to converse with You so intimately, O Lord!