I’ve wanted to write this blog for a while now. I’ve been waiting for a time in which the words for it would come together more cohesively, but I may perhaps be stifling the message of what needs to be written. So, I simply come tonight, allowing the Lord to let the words flow as He would have them to.
I’m a little more than halfway through my engagement with John. I can’t even begin to describe how full this season has been and the lessons that have come in it. It has been pushing me into depths I have never experienced of myself, of John, and my relationship with the Lord.
Earlier this week, I read these lyrics I wrote almost exactly a year ago, and was amazed by the meaning within them in the current time.
You say I’m your daughter You call me to be Yours
To fill me with laughter and a love that’s joyfully pure
With one hand You twirl me around
curls from around my face bounce
and with the other You bring me back
into Your arms
Daddy’s little girl
Still remember it just like yesterday
Daddy’s little girl
Used to hang on to every word he would say
Daddy’s little girl
He was the only man in my eyes Daddy’s little girl
And He always says I’m His
Why does it seem now I’m walking away
Walking on, learning to walk alone
Yeah, sure I’m learning to stand on my own
Face the world with the confidence I have shown
Yet why does it seem to difficult to learn?
Maybe it’s because the best dads know
that it’s better to let her go
and let her find within her love to return
You speak Your word over me
Your wisdom always pours forth
to guide me out with truth
and the knowledge I can learn
With one hand You squeeze me tighter
like it’s the last hug for a while
and with the other You finally let go
and send me out
Daddy’s little girl
It now seems like so long ago
Daddy’s little girl
Sometimes He’s now harder to know
Daddy’s little girl
Wish He could be the only man in my eyes still
Daddy’s little girl
Because I’m always going to be his
Sometimes I wish I could return to the innocent bliss
Carefree, just a life of simplicity
Yeah, I know I’ve always wanted to grow
To go and make my own way
Yet why do I now want to return?
Maybe it’s because of the love
The kind that made her grow
And now has set her out on her own
As I wrote this, I was reflecting a lot on how the men in my life and God in my life influence my perception greatly, and how God uses them. I was thinking about the simplicity and beauty of being Daddy’s little girl, and how I was grieving the loss of that at the time. But this resonated true: “With one hand You squeeze me tighter, and with the other You finally let go, and send me out.”
You say I’m your lover
You beckon me to be Yours
to fill me with passion
and a love that’s joyfully pure
With one hand You take me in
My breathing slows
and with the other You bring me closer
into Your arms
I remember writing this last stanza and knowing it was to be an eventual reality but unsure of what it really meant at the time. Yet now, a year later, I understand so much more now…it is a reality true of my relationships both with the Lord and John…
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, F54 but have not love, I gain nothing…Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
If I have not love for the Lord but have all these other things, than I am nothing. Love never ends; it stands for all eternity. That is what holds us captive to Him. As idols will fall away, so will knowledge, so will prophecy, so will tongues. Now we know in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away…now we see in a mirror dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know in part, then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known by Him.
Now as I know the Lord’s love in part through John, when the Lord returns or heaven comes, I will know His love fully. Now as I see a picture of who God is through John, one day I will see Him face to face. Now as I know in part, one day I shall know fully, as I have been fully known by Him throughout my entire life.
Oh, how much He is using this aspect of bringing John and I together as one not only as a blessing, but moreso, that we would know our God more…it is an overflow.
That is altogether breathtaking…
I am left with the thought of if what I am experiencing with John right now is an illusion of what is to come in Heaven, then the meaning of that is beyond all my human comprehension. It is like trying to create a word that means fuller than full; greater than infinite. It is beyond human description, and all I can do is just allude to it, drawing from the truth I know, like the apostle John does in Revelation 7:
“And after this, I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number…standing before the throne and before the lamb, from all tribes and all peoples and all languages, crying out with a loud voice...and all the angels and elders fell on their faces before the throne and worshipped God, saying ‘Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power might be to our God forever and ever! Amen….Therefore they are before the throne of God, and serve him day and night in his temple; and he who sits on the throne will shelter them with his presence. They shall hunger no more, neither thirst anymore; the sun shall not strike them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their shepherd, and he will guide them to springs of living water, and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes” (vs 9-12, 15-17).
[silence…]
How do we even begin to respond? At such a glory, power, wisdom that God possesses and we do not…at what He pours forth and provides…
May we too fall on our faces before the throne and live to worship Him alone.
