You hide behind the electrifying display of lights
Attempting to blind all who look in
That perhaps one will see a bigger and brighter future
Rather than a land riddled with sin
From the subtle “pop” on the street corners
To the billboards with women scantily clad
You lurk around and within
One of the biggest traps in existence
You lure in women young and old
paying them for their bodies that are of great worth
But that’s all you see that’s of worth.
Their bodies.
An object. A plaything.
Anything else is desecrated and dismissed
Are you happy seeing them serving the pleasures of men?
From the cocktail drink in “cute costumes” to a room with bare skin?
You torrent men’s minds with all this gratification at their fingertips
So few ways for them to remain pure
You want them to dominate.
Fulfill their fleshly desires.
Anything more noble is laughed at and scoffed
Are you happy seeing them giving in to their every whim?
From the image in hand on the corner to a room with bare skin?
You laugh with every dollar played on the casino table
For their ignorance is your bliss and fulfills your greed
That’s your appetite. That’s your goal.
To trap. To lure.
To deceive.
They know nothing else but to chase an empty dream
Are you happy seeing people empty their wallets?
An image of surrender to you and the illusion so convincing?
You lead every drunken step taken by a person trying to escape
Drowning their cares one by one
Down the pipe it goes and fades
Relief.
But only delayed reality.
Their cares are counted by the glass consumed
Are you happy seeing them swim in the sea of delusion?
From the first hard shot to the face passed out on the floor?
Your presence lurks from every light bulb bright to street corner dark
For you have this place in the grip of your writhing hands
This is your place.
A living hell.
But you have yet to see there’s One who will cause you to surrender in defeat
Your happiness will no longer be and your power will be ended
And forevermore your reign shall cease
Sin City will have no place anymore
Prepare the way for the coming of the Lord
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
Glory
When I look into the deep and vastness of the seaCan I see Your glory calling out to me?
A glory that bids me come and die
and lay my life down at Your feet?
You've opened my eyes and allowed me to see
It's all for you, not all for me
And I should stand and sing your praise
Cry out at Your glorious majesty
Praise be to the One who saved my soul
though I am but a grain of sand, You made me whole
And as the waves wash away what was and is
I'm here in Your love, and there's nothing better than this
Glory, I give glory
You alone are worthy
Glory, I give glory
To Your endless majesty
Let my words come and speak
And only give praise to the One deserving
As I sit in Your presence and remain only still
Can I hear Your voice whispering until
The day comes that I may return home
And with Your spirit be completely filled
You've opened my eyes and allowed me to see
It's all for you, not all for me
And I should stand and sing your praise
Cry out at Your glorious majesty
Praise be to the One who saved my soul
though I am but a grain of sand, You made me whole
And as the waves wash away what was and is
I'm here in Your love, and there's nothing better than this
Glory, I give glory
You alone are worthy
Glory, I give glory
To Your endless majesty
Let my words come and speak
And only give praise to the One deserving
Praise be to the One who saved my soul
though I am but a grain of sand, You made me whole
And as the waves wash away what was and is
I'm here in Your love, and there's nothing better than this
Pictures of Kristin Huisheere
Friday, March 16, 2007
Two by Two
It’s weird that it’s the end of another quarter and this one has completely flown by. Granted, I am excited to be done and to see what else lies in store, but with this, it is interesting to note what changes God is bringing and has begun this week. I will not be able to convey it to you because I haven’t been able to convey it to myself yet, but things are coming back…this time better. What that means only God can tell.
There’s been so many thoughts running through my head this week and so many things God is speaking to me about, and I haven’t had this for quite some time. I’m not going to rush what God is doing here because I often do that; however, tonight there is something pressing on my heart that I want to search out.
“The Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was to go” Luke 10:1.
Elise brought this up tonight when we were down at farmers and it put the clincher on one of the things that has been laying on my heart as of late.
Through many different things, God has opened my eyes to what an incredible blessing I have in Elise. There is no other friendship in my life quite like ours. Every friendship I have is different because every person brings something different to the table and there is a new mix, and I am so thankful for each one of them. Yet I am profoundly struck at how enriching this friendship has been to me…
We are to give our all to each other and to God all the time. This is so rare in our society, as John and I have been talking about as well. It’s even rare in our Christian circles. I know I am guilty of it as well. I tire of pouring out into others who don’t pour back into me. It shows that I am not letting God be the source of my love. What a sin that is…
But when that sin of not giving our all and loving in the way Jesus loves us is overcome, how blissfully sweet it is! Every time I meet with Elise I can’t help but think that God is smiling and delighting in the friendship He has given us. Bounds have been overcome, walls broken down, and a blessed friendship abounds.
Oh my dear sister who laughs with me, taking delight in the things quirky about me, or the inside jokes that we share…to the times when she has watched tears of pain streaming down my face and offers such a presence of peace…to the times when we pour out our struggles and understanding that this journey God has us on isn’t easy…to the times when we simply delight in one another in the fact that we get to meet…again. and again.
And again. How God has ordained the time that we spend together…in what seems like impossible schedules to match up and meet, we see each other so often. God knows we need each other. And God intentionally puts us together. Again and again.
I have had the blessing of watching her grow in her walk with the Lord in immense ways over the last year and a half. How beautiful her heart and how tender her spirit is. I have watched her lay her life down at the Lord’s feet over and over again, desiring His best, and having one of the most beautiful spirits of repentance I have ever seen.
It’s her honesty that penetrates me. She holds nothing back and in this, makes me realize how much I do. How God is using her to make me open up in the same way.
It’s her love that captures me. She loves our Savior more than words could ever express and devotes herself to Him endlessly. She displays selfless love more so than anyone I have ever met, constantly giving her all to the people around her.
This selfless love I have never experienced quite in this way before. I have never had anyone pour into me and initiate things with me quite in the way that she has. It’s been wonderful, refreshing, much needed.
There’s so much more I could say about her and our friendship, but I’ll wrap it up with this. God has provided exactly with what we need. And as we walk on our own adventures with one another with arms around each other’s backs, we know that we’re not alone. And that is good.
Continuing on to another point with this…
About a month ago God posed me with the question and situation of being alone without my love. He separated me for a time in order that I may learn that I am capable of letting go even when it’s the last thing I want to do. He taught me so much through this, but the question is a little…discomforting. I don’t know what the future implications of what this will entail, and God is continuing to teach me to trust Him with it.
I would say that I have walked in life alone for the most part even with people surrounding me. The first 6 years of my walk with the Lord were spent in a non Christian household, so I learned much about developing my relationship with God on my own. My faith has always been my own and it has been sweet to see where He has met me with this. I had many amazing friends and influences and parents around me, but I’ve always walked solitary to some degree. My life has been solely me and God.
A huge part of what God has been teaching me over this year is vulnerability and letting people in. There’s much I could say with this and I already have before, but basically God has been changing this solitary nature of myself greatly. I still enjoy my occasional times alone and still need that greatly, but I no longer want to walk life alone. I want to share life. I want people around me.
And I was hugely struck by what Jesus did with His disciples…He sent them out two by two. Not alone. Not even in groups of three or four or five. Those groups do have their purpose, but I am thinking that life is meant to be shared intimately with one person. We are to walk journeys with one person at a time.
I see this in my friendship with Elise in a huge way. We are walking the journey of discovering the women God has us to be together. It is sweet and intimate and blessed.
I see this with John and the friendship we had/have and the beginnings of this in our relationship. As we press on to what God has for us, it will continue to develop and grow.
I no longer want to be alone. I want those friendships in my life. In particular, I want to continue to walk with Elise, and I want to be with John, the one I love.
And honestly, it’s sometimes really hard to say goodbye, even for a short time, because of how dear they are to me…I won’t get into the details here though.
Jesus sent His disciples out by the two, so they wouldn’t walk alone.
And I can honestly say now that I strongly desire someone by my side.
There’s been so many thoughts running through my head this week and so many things God is speaking to me about, and I haven’t had this for quite some time. I’m not going to rush what God is doing here because I often do that; however, tonight there is something pressing on my heart that I want to search out.
“The Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was to go” Luke 10:1.
Elise brought this up tonight when we were down at farmers and it put the clincher on one of the things that has been laying on my heart as of late.
Through many different things, God has opened my eyes to what an incredible blessing I have in Elise. There is no other friendship in my life quite like ours. Every friendship I have is different because every person brings something different to the table and there is a new mix, and I am so thankful for each one of them. Yet I am profoundly struck at how enriching this friendship has been to me…
We are to give our all to each other and to God all the time. This is so rare in our society, as John and I have been talking about as well. It’s even rare in our Christian circles. I know I am guilty of it as well. I tire of pouring out into others who don’t pour back into me. It shows that I am not letting God be the source of my love. What a sin that is…
But when that sin of not giving our all and loving in the way Jesus loves us is overcome, how blissfully sweet it is! Every time I meet with Elise I can’t help but think that God is smiling and delighting in the friendship He has given us. Bounds have been overcome, walls broken down, and a blessed friendship abounds.
Oh my dear sister who laughs with me, taking delight in the things quirky about me, or the inside jokes that we share…to the times when she has watched tears of pain streaming down my face and offers such a presence of peace…to the times when we pour out our struggles and understanding that this journey God has us on isn’t easy…to the times when we simply delight in one another in the fact that we get to meet…again. and again.
And again. How God has ordained the time that we spend together…in what seems like impossible schedules to match up and meet, we see each other so often. God knows we need each other. And God intentionally puts us together. Again and again.
I have had the blessing of watching her grow in her walk with the Lord in immense ways over the last year and a half. How beautiful her heart and how tender her spirit is. I have watched her lay her life down at the Lord’s feet over and over again, desiring His best, and having one of the most beautiful spirits of repentance I have ever seen.
It’s her honesty that penetrates me. She holds nothing back and in this, makes me realize how much I do. How God is using her to make me open up in the same way.
It’s her love that captures me. She loves our Savior more than words could ever express and devotes herself to Him endlessly. She displays selfless love more so than anyone I have ever met, constantly giving her all to the people around her.
This selfless love I have never experienced quite in this way before. I have never had anyone pour into me and initiate things with me quite in the way that she has. It’s been wonderful, refreshing, much needed.
There’s so much more I could say about her and our friendship, but I’ll wrap it up with this. God has provided exactly with what we need. And as we walk on our own adventures with one another with arms around each other’s backs, we know that we’re not alone. And that is good.
Continuing on to another point with this…
About a month ago God posed me with the question and situation of being alone without my love. He separated me for a time in order that I may learn that I am capable of letting go even when it’s the last thing I want to do. He taught me so much through this, but the question is a little…discomforting. I don’t know what the future implications of what this will entail, and God is continuing to teach me to trust Him with it.
I would say that I have walked in life alone for the most part even with people surrounding me. The first 6 years of my walk with the Lord were spent in a non Christian household, so I learned much about developing my relationship with God on my own. My faith has always been my own and it has been sweet to see where He has met me with this. I had many amazing friends and influences and parents around me, but I’ve always walked solitary to some degree. My life has been solely me and God.
A huge part of what God has been teaching me over this year is vulnerability and letting people in. There’s much I could say with this and I already have before, but basically God has been changing this solitary nature of myself greatly. I still enjoy my occasional times alone and still need that greatly, but I no longer want to walk life alone. I want to share life. I want people around me.
And I was hugely struck by what Jesus did with His disciples…He sent them out two by two. Not alone. Not even in groups of three or four or five. Those groups do have their purpose, but I am thinking that life is meant to be shared intimately with one person. We are to walk journeys with one person at a time.
I see this in my friendship with Elise in a huge way. We are walking the journey of discovering the women God has us to be together. It is sweet and intimate and blessed.
I see this with John and the friendship we had/have and the beginnings of this in our relationship. As we press on to what God has for us, it will continue to develop and grow.
I no longer want to be alone. I want those friendships in my life. In particular, I want to continue to walk with Elise, and I want to be with John, the one I love.
And honestly, it’s sometimes really hard to say goodbye, even for a short time, because of how dear they are to me…I won’t get into the details here though.
Jesus sent His disciples out by the two, so they wouldn’t walk alone.
And I can honestly say now that I strongly desire someone by my side.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
The Year of the New Wineskin
Below this entry is a photojournal of various birds I have taken pictures of over the last year and a half. I wanted to go back and remember those times in which I took those pictures and the various ways God has spoken to me through those. Unfortunately I do not have pictures of my famous pet goose from last week, but what I have will suffice.
In different seasons of my life God chooses to speak to me through different things. Last year it was through scenes of His creation. I was able to live in two places throughout the year, Colorado, and for the first time, California. Each has its own beauty and majesty and for the first time in my life, I came to truly appreciate it. Last year...there is not just one adjective that can capture all it entailed, but if I truly had to pick one, I would say majesty. Over and over God surrounded me with His majesty, whether it be the sunset at the beach in California, or a mountain range in Colorado, or a canyon with a waterfall in Hawaii. God blew away all of my perceptions in a huge way last year. All of my life's plans that I had coming into college pretty much completely changed. My plans were too small for my God. He has much bigger ones. He is beyond anything I can wrap my mind around, and last year I was met with that for the first time. Last year was one of taking pictures and embarking on this new hobby of photography, one in which I could capture and remember these great scenes God created for me. Last year was one in which words poured forth from my fingertips and mouth, in which I found God in so many ways. I would say that last year was a banner year in a lot of ways in my adventure with God.
And as the years go on, the change continues. As I said before, each season brings different things and different lessons. This year is my quiet year, in which God has chosen to rework and mold my heart in ways never before. This year is when I'm discovering what the sacrifice of true love really is. This year is one in which I find it difficult to do external things like last year because it's not the season God has me in. This season has me retreating from my position I've always entailed as a leader and entering into my Savior's arms and surrendering. This season is one in which God is creating me as a new wineskin in order that He may pour forth new wine into it and have it ferment into something better and sweeter. My words have been so few as of late, a strange thing for a writer such as me. But again and again, I find my words so inadequate for this time. I can't put into words what God is doing in my heart and I can't give Him justice through my words. I can't pour forth effort into something that doesn't require my all, and that's how writing has been as of late. My God, my Savior demands my all and that is where I need to be. For the first time in my life, I need to let my quietness speak instead of any words I can pour forth. I need to hear His whisper to my heart and let Him speak to those around me far better than I ever can.
As for what God has chosen to speak through to me this season, it has been through birds. How captivated I have been with them...a kindred spirit of sorts I have found. Growing up, if I was asked the question what animal would I want to be, it was always a bird. I am beginning to understand why...
The birds that I am surrounded with here in SLO, especially on the hills outside my apartments, possess a majesty like few I have encountered. They soar effortlessly through the air, letting the wind caress their wings and direct their paths. They are not ones to make obnoxious noise but they rather embrace the silence that lies all around them. How sweet is it to let one's words be few...to feel the wind beneath one's wings, knowing all one has to do is incline them in order to soar...
It's such a simple life that the birds have. As I was walking to work today, I saw these two ducks swimming in this ditch full of water by the path. They frolicked about among the moss and then decided to pick up and leave, flying right over my head dropping water on me as I walked underneath. They don't have any cares or worries.
They see the most majestic of sights. They bask in every sunrise and sunset. As the clouds change form above them, they are able to seek the light, for they see it and can obtain its grasp. If only I were able to see the light that clearly and strive for it every moment I live and breathe...if I could fly and somehow reach it, how sweet that would be.
I was watching hummingbirds in the courtyard of my apartments yesterday and for the first time actually saw a hummingbird not flap his wings but rest on a tree branch. The frenzied pace that was so normal to him he forsaked for a while. Sounds pretty familiar to me.
And so few are attached to one place, for they know that being attached to one place means it can be uprooted at any time. Instead, they fly around not having roots. How true does this ring in that this is not my true home. I have one waiting for me that is far better. I shouldn't get attached.
There's even a companionship that I have found in these birds that I long for. Last Saturday I went to the lake in town to sit in God's presence and somehow found myself in the company of a big fat goose for an hour. God had much to teach me through this goose. I was scared of this goose for quite a while because I didn't know what the heck he wanted and why he was right by my side. I wasn't sure if he was going to bite me or what. I had to learn to trust him that he wasn't going to hurt me and so the goose also had to learn I wasn't going to hurt him. It took some time but how sweet the results were...I was able to caress its soft neck and stroke its feathers and watch him fall asleep at my side...such a strange encounter with a goose. This goose also pursued me in a concrete way I hadn't experienced before. He swam out of nowhere in the water and walked out of it right up to my feet. He looked at me and honked at me for a bit waiting for me to get up and follow him. I followed him shortly from my bench and sat with him as he ate the grass surrounding me. I started singing some worship songs quietly to myself and he began honking so loudly! After a while I went back to my bench and he ran after me until he was right back at my side. We spent some more time together until I decided to make my way back to my car. He continued to run after me, and then just walked me to my car almost all the way. Three remarkable things happened in this. I was petting him on the back of his head as we walked and he was nuzzling into my leg because he enjoyed it so much. The second was that three other adults saw the experience I was having with the goose and decided to try and pet him too. He, well, viciously attacked them only to return right back to my side. As I was almost back to my car, he decided to stop going. I stopped for a second and looked at him and he looked at me, and then with a grand finale, he stood up as tall as he could and began to flap his huge majestic wings all while remaining on the ground. An incredible sight. This goose longed for my company and would stick by my side, not letting me go. This goose who was vicious to others learned to trust me and fell asleep in my presence. This goose showed me that he wasn't going to hurt me and I just needed to be in his presence. He delighted in me, longed for me, wanted to teach me. This is my God, the One who pursues me...how sweet it was in a rather amusing occurence of a goose.
And today I have found myself realizing there is still a bit more to be learned from these birds...there is still a bit more to this season I am in. For the first time in my life, I am not going to rush the time I am in. It is far too critical for what God has in store. For if my heart is not molded and shaped by my Savior now, how will I be able to rest secure in His love for me and be able to sacrifice all at the same time for what He has for me to do? I won't be able to. It will be like pouring new wine into an old wineskin and having it burst because it wasn't able to stretch any more. It would be lost.
I could look to future things and lessons that God has in store, but why would I want to miss this time now? It has been one of the most difficult seasons of my life, but one of the most rewarding. God is showing me who He is and wrapping me up in His presence. Why would I ever want to escape?
In different seasons of my life God chooses to speak to me through different things. Last year it was through scenes of His creation. I was able to live in two places throughout the year, Colorado, and for the first time, California. Each has its own beauty and majesty and for the first time in my life, I came to truly appreciate it. Last year...there is not just one adjective that can capture all it entailed, but if I truly had to pick one, I would say majesty. Over and over God surrounded me with His majesty, whether it be the sunset at the beach in California, or a mountain range in Colorado, or a canyon with a waterfall in Hawaii. God blew away all of my perceptions in a huge way last year. All of my life's plans that I had coming into college pretty much completely changed. My plans were too small for my God. He has much bigger ones. He is beyond anything I can wrap my mind around, and last year I was met with that for the first time. Last year was one of taking pictures and embarking on this new hobby of photography, one in which I could capture and remember these great scenes God created for me. Last year was one in which words poured forth from my fingertips and mouth, in which I found God in so many ways. I would say that last year was a banner year in a lot of ways in my adventure with God.
And as the years go on, the change continues. As I said before, each season brings different things and different lessons. This year is my quiet year, in which God has chosen to rework and mold my heart in ways never before. This year is when I'm discovering what the sacrifice of true love really is. This year is one in which I find it difficult to do external things like last year because it's not the season God has me in. This season has me retreating from my position I've always entailed as a leader and entering into my Savior's arms and surrendering. This season is one in which God is creating me as a new wineskin in order that He may pour forth new wine into it and have it ferment into something better and sweeter. My words have been so few as of late, a strange thing for a writer such as me. But again and again, I find my words so inadequate for this time. I can't put into words what God is doing in my heart and I can't give Him justice through my words. I can't pour forth effort into something that doesn't require my all, and that's how writing has been as of late. My God, my Savior demands my all and that is where I need to be. For the first time in my life, I need to let my quietness speak instead of any words I can pour forth. I need to hear His whisper to my heart and let Him speak to those around me far better than I ever can.
As for what God has chosen to speak through to me this season, it has been through birds. How captivated I have been with them...a kindred spirit of sorts I have found. Growing up, if I was asked the question what animal would I want to be, it was always a bird. I am beginning to understand why...
The birds that I am surrounded with here in SLO, especially on the hills outside my apartments, possess a majesty like few I have encountered. They soar effortlessly through the air, letting the wind caress their wings and direct their paths. They are not ones to make obnoxious noise but they rather embrace the silence that lies all around them. How sweet is it to let one's words be few...to feel the wind beneath one's wings, knowing all one has to do is incline them in order to soar...
It's such a simple life that the birds have. As I was walking to work today, I saw these two ducks swimming in this ditch full of water by the path. They frolicked about among the moss and then decided to pick up and leave, flying right over my head dropping water on me as I walked underneath. They don't have any cares or worries.
They see the most majestic of sights. They bask in every sunrise and sunset. As the clouds change form above them, they are able to seek the light, for they see it and can obtain its grasp. If only I were able to see the light that clearly and strive for it every moment I live and breathe...if I could fly and somehow reach it, how sweet that would be.
I was watching hummingbirds in the courtyard of my apartments yesterday and for the first time actually saw a hummingbird not flap his wings but rest on a tree branch. The frenzied pace that was so normal to him he forsaked for a while. Sounds pretty familiar to me.
And so few are attached to one place, for they know that being attached to one place means it can be uprooted at any time. Instead, they fly around not having roots. How true does this ring in that this is not my true home. I have one waiting for me that is far better. I shouldn't get attached.
There's even a companionship that I have found in these birds that I long for. Last Saturday I went to the lake in town to sit in God's presence and somehow found myself in the company of a big fat goose for an hour. God had much to teach me through this goose. I was scared of this goose for quite a while because I didn't know what the heck he wanted and why he was right by my side. I wasn't sure if he was going to bite me or what. I had to learn to trust him that he wasn't going to hurt me and so the goose also had to learn I wasn't going to hurt him. It took some time but how sweet the results were...I was able to caress its soft neck and stroke its feathers and watch him fall asleep at my side...such a strange encounter with a goose. This goose also pursued me in a concrete way I hadn't experienced before. He swam out of nowhere in the water and walked out of it right up to my feet. He looked at me and honked at me for a bit waiting for me to get up and follow him. I followed him shortly from my bench and sat with him as he ate the grass surrounding me. I started singing some worship songs quietly to myself and he began honking so loudly! After a while I went back to my bench and he ran after me until he was right back at my side. We spent some more time together until I decided to make my way back to my car. He continued to run after me, and then just walked me to my car almost all the way. Three remarkable things happened in this. I was petting him on the back of his head as we walked and he was nuzzling into my leg because he enjoyed it so much. The second was that three other adults saw the experience I was having with the goose and decided to try and pet him too. He, well, viciously attacked them only to return right back to my side. As I was almost back to my car, he decided to stop going. I stopped for a second and looked at him and he looked at me, and then with a grand finale, he stood up as tall as he could and began to flap his huge majestic wings all while remaining on the ground. An incredible sight. This goose longed for my company and would stick by my side, not letting me go. This goose who was vicious to others learned to trust me and fell asleep in my presence. This goose showed me that he wasn't going to hurt me and I just needed to be in his presence. He delighted in me, longed for me, wanted to teach me. This is my God, the One who pursues me...how sweet it was in a rather amusing occurence of a goose.
And today I have found myself realizing there is still a bit more to be learned from these birds...there is still a bit more to this season I am in. For the first time in my life, I am not going to rush the time I am in. It is far too critical for what God has in store. For if my heart is not molded and shaped by my Savior now, how will I be able to rest secure in His love for me and be able to sacrifice all at the same time for what He has for me to do? I won't be able to. It will be like pouring new wine into an old wineskin and having it burst because it wasn't able to stretch any more. It would be lost.
I could look to future things and lessons that God has in store, but why would I want to miss this time now? It has been one of the most difficult seasons of my life, but one of the most rewarding. God is showing me who He is and wrapping me up in His presence. Why would I ever want to escape?
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