I’ve wondered when this post might come. It has been almost two months since I last wrote here…and when I last wrote, I didn’t know when today would be. When would be the day when I would feel somewhat capable of being able to express and articulate what has happened in the time since then? Tonight I don’t feel capable of that either, but there is a resounding message in my heart that I must express in some fashion. I often neglect how the Lord ministers to me in times when I must come and process with the intention of being articulate enough that others may too understand. I need the intention of being articulate enough that I may understand.
For some reason, life has this funny thing of fusing together endings and beginnings. I can’t say how true that speaks for the last two months. I graduated college, ending a stage of life that God has used in ways I will never be able to fully measure. I had two weeks with my mom wrapping up wedding planning. I had many moments with Elise as we sought to live well and process all of this change. I had time with friends at and around graduation, celebrating and remembering all the things we have shared. I had dates with my fiancé, as we sought to prepare for marriage in the time we had left. My best friend from childhood, Tine, came in. I celebrated my bachelorette party with women I hold so dear to my heart. I walked downtown to farmer’s with my dad for my last date as just his daughter. We had family come in. And a lot of friends.
It was June 27th, 2010. There were blue and purple dresses, purple skinny ties, white and green flowers, a setting of a lawn beside a barn in the Central coast hills, and lots of white chairs. There was a white dress and a black suit. There were two small boxes holding circles of precious metal. There was laughter. There were tears of joy. There were prayers. There was incredible peace. I stood in the frame of a door under an awning where the brilliant afternoon sun shone upon me, taking in the moment for a bit. Our dear attendants lined up to walk down. My dad came and took my arm. I walked through a row of lemon trees, through an arbor, where a crowd of witnesses awaited. I was given to my groom. We reflected upon and entered into the sanctity of the marriage covenant with full faith and utmost joy…and we celebrated. We celebrated through listening to heartwarming and humbling toasts, eating really good food and even better cake, a waltz as One, moments with the parents and moments with our friends. We ended the night with a tossing of a bouquet, a shooting of an elephant, and an evasion of a bubble gun attack by our parents. We left after a massive group hug and tunnel of wishes to our jungle fever getaway car. And John and I began our life as One.
There were two weeks with just one another, first in Shell Beach and then in Cabo San Lucas. There was a lot of sun, a lot of really bad music, and a lot of good mojitos. There was reading of books, solving of puzzles, and playing of games. There was food poisoning, lots of instant mashed potatoes and saltines. There was laughter. There was rest. There was joy. There was adventure. There was time in the word and prayer. There was a catamaran sunset ride, jet skis in the ocean, and parasailing in the sky. There was $150 in parking fees at the airport. And then we returned to “the life we knew” in SLO.
Since then, everything has been the same but at the same time, everything is different. There has been a lot of ministry to those we hold dear. People in the midst of heartbreak, people in the midst of transition, people in the midst of sin and repentance, and people in the midst of change. There has been a heaviness in our hearts in the midst of it at times, but thankfulness that we can be here. There has been job searching, lots of cover letter drafts and resume tweaking. There has been research of subway routes, NYC boroughs, and actual skyscraper heights (really tall). There have been spontaneous yogurt runs, scheduled actual runs, name change appointments and more. There has been a joy in living day in and day out with the one we love. There has been “gender shock” in living with a person of the opposite sex. There has been prayer. There has been the awareness and revealing of our sinful flesh. There have been times of being overwhelmed. There are so many moments of thankfulness and so much joy. There has been trust. There has been surrender.
There are single days, and there is two months.
Yet, in it all, and over all, there is the Lord…
He is enduringly strong.
He is entirely sincere.
He is eternally steadfast.
He’s immortally graceful.
He’s imperially powerful.
He’s impartially merciful.
He’s a sinner’s Savior
He’s the centerpiece of civilization.
He’s unparalleled.
He’s unprecedented.
He supplies strength for the weak.
He’s available for the tempted and tried.
He sympathizes and he saves.
He strengthens and He sustains.
He guards and He guides.
He forgives sinners.
He delivers the captive.
He defends the feeble.
He rewards the diligent.
He beautifies the meager.
He’s the doorway of deliverance.
He’s the pathway of peace.
He’s the roadway of righteousness.
He’s the highway of holiness.
He’s the gateway of glory.
His goodness is limitless.
His mercy is everlasting.
His Love never changes.
His word is enough.
His grace is sufficient.
His yoke is easy.
His burden is light.
He’s indescribable
He’s incomprehensible
He’s invincible
He’s irresistible
You can’t get him out of your mind
You can’t get him off your hand
You can’t live without Him…(1)
And He is the reason I breathe and live this blessed, full life that I do. Come every joy, blessing, every trial, every temptation…because through it, this I come to know more and more in every moment…
He is my King.
