With Me Tonight

I see you across the dance floor in the corner of the room
your presence catches my attention
Standing there seemingly watching me with your gaze
I can’t help myself, I fidget a little as I don’t know what to do
Wondering what you’re thinking as you watch me the way you do
And I wonder if you’ve come to be with me tonight

Even across the room I look into your eyes
It’s a familiar gaze I’ve looked into before
and I see one I seem to know so well
But with your advance I find my heart quickens
As there’s still a mystery I seldom know
And I wonder if you’ve come to be with me tonight

Are you going to dance with me?
Are you going to be with me tonight?
I want you to know the rhythm of my heart
and know the joy I have inside
Seems like I am seldom, hardly known
for who I wanna be in your eyes
Are you going to dance with me
and are you going to be with me tonight?
Are you going to love me
and call me precious in your sight?

You’re so much closer now
and yet your face is harder to recognize
But still I can’t forget the piercing
of the gaze that comes with those eyes
Where do I know you from
and why have you come to be with me tonight?

You ask for my hand and then there’s scars I finally recognize
It’s the holes in your hands and the gash in your side
You’re not who I was expecting you would be
from across the room but now you’re here with me
Your love is what I’ve known and what I’m looking for
and once again, You beckon me to come forth

Into Your arms, there I fall
Within Your eyes, there I’m known
And not just in this moment but for all of my days
I can’t forget the piercing
of the gaze that comes with those eyes
Because it’s the look of love that has pursued me my entire life

So would You dance with me?
Would You be with me tonight?
I want You to know the rhythm of my heart
and know the joy I have inside
Seems like I am seldom, hardly known
for who I wanna be in Your eyes
So would You dance with me
and would You be with me tonight?
Would You love me
and call me precious in Your sight?

The Seemingly Impossible

I’ve been dwelling on the fact of the seemingly impossible as of late. I feel like there’s a lot of circumstances in my life right now that on the surface, seem impossible for them to come into being or to be carried out. Examples of this include trying to end the academic quarter 2 to 2.5 weeks early, planning a large scale week-long conference for the campus in January, engagements with friends and fellowship, learning difficult lessons in a relationship, and more.
I look at all these things and each of them in themselves seem impossible, and all of them together is another story.

Yes, there are times I feel overwhelmed, and I hope I’d be the first to admit that. But I’m also finding something uncharacteristic of me in this situation, and that is learning to delight in the impossible…

Hebrews 6 talks about the progress of moving from an elementary to mature faith. We are to remember the doctrine we have been taught, and the goodness of God which we have tasted thus far, and yet still press on. It refers to promises such as those that God promised to Abraham, and what it means to inherit those. We are to be sure of better things (vs 9) and be earnest in holding fast and fully to the hope we have until the end (vs 11), because then we are imitators of those who have come before and inherited the promises God has spoken.

We are to be like Abraham and patiently wait for said promises. We are to have faith, not in something as finite as ourselves and the works of our feeble hands, but in Someone infinite. Someone greater than ourselves (vs 16).

We so often want confirmation for what we hope for. Often times we wait and hope without seeing tangible fruit of said thing, but in His own promises, God gives us an oath sworn by his unchangeable self, that we may hold fast to the hope we have before us (vs 17-18). The oath that God has sworn by Himself is the surest and most steadfast anchor, as Jesus is the One binding the Covenant between ourselves and God. He is the forerunner on our behalf, our priest in the inner courts (vs 19-20), and through salvation in Him, we are able to receive all the Father has promised.

God laid the foundation again for me this summer, reminded me and taught me thoroughly the elementary things of my faith, such as who He is according to His word. It is good that I move on to the mature things, regardless of how difficult they are. When we truly know and understand knowledge, I believe it penetrates our heart and floods through our actions. With that, I believe that when we come into a better and fuller understanding of God, it penetrates our hearts and floods our actions.

In these seemingly impossible things, I am being covered with the truth of the knowledge I know and hold fast to. I am being reminded that my own strivings are folly. I’m remembering that I truly can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I’m remembering that He must become greater, and I must become less. I’m remembering that it is of more value to believe without seeing. I’m remembering that even when I, a youth, grow tired and weary, the Lord will renew my strength. I’m overwhelmed with the peace that comes with the knowledge that God is always faithful. His ways are not my own, but I can surely trust Him to work out things on His own accord, and for the good of His children.

I’m incredibly thankful that these seemingly impossible lessons and circumstances only bring me back not just daily, but in every moment, to His feet, realizing that I am truly nothing and He is everything. I cannot live on my own. When I place myself at His feet and under His care I find Him in immeasurable ways that I only could’ve imagined or dreamed of before. The relationship I have with Him is much more than anything that can be found or described here on this earth, as His character is a profound mystery…

But I am not a mystery to my dear Father. In His eyes, these seemingly impossible things before me are things He has set before me in order that I may be refined, move on towards maturity, and above all, know Him more, love Him more. His ways have already come to be, and all of my days are already written in His book, even as I live into His story for me moment by moment.

I live in the light of a divine mystery, that of the Father’s love for us and everything that results from it. There are so many things I don’t understand right now about the things I am in and the circumstances that surround me, but I rest in the knowledge that He does. I will continue to walk in this divine mystery, realizing that I now see in a mirror dimly, but one day I will see clearly; now I only know in part, but then I shall know fully, as I am fully known by my Father (1 Cor 13:12).

That is surely enough to hope in.

In the Whisper

I have long heard John refer to 1 Kings 19 and how Elijah did not hear God in the wind, fire, or earthquake, but rather in the whisper. And it’s honestly a little strange for me to be writing about this personally because I feel as if I’m stealing his lesson from him or something, but I do see how God has used the lesson He’s been teaching John to help me recognize it as well. So therefore, I will write about it.

It was about a week and a half ago that I was driving home at night on a two-lane highway from John’s house and our anniversary date we had just had. After about probably 15 minutes of driving, I saw a moth come up through the vents by my windshield, the ones that defog your windshield. This may not seem like that big a deal, but for those of you who don’t know, moths are my #1 detested, skittish creature. It has to do with a time about 10 years ago when a moth flew into my mouth and I couldn’t get it out speedily. Needless to say, I’ve been somewhat traumatized by them and detest them since that time. So when I saw the moth crawl out from that vent, I was disgusted and tensing up more and more by the second. I don’t like them in themselves, and then to have one in a dark, enclosed car while moving ~70 mph on a two-lane highway at night is just a bad situation.

I was already having a bit of a rough time on my drive home before the moth appeared. The moth was really the last thing I needed or wanted. It was still on the dashboard for a while and I was able to tolerate it. However I was realizing that if it started flying around, it would be a really bad thing because I cannot control my reaction to moths. I freak out, literally. I decided to pull off the road before an accident happened and get the moth out of my car. It took a little bit of effort, but I succeeded.

Or so I thought. About two minutes later, a moth started flying all around my head and I lost it. It made me angry, upset, frustrated, tense, and also released a lot of pent-up emotions. I decided to drive the last 20 minutes home with all the windows open so that one, either the moth would fly out, or two, the wind would keep me from knowing it was touching me. Needless to say, I got home cold, tense, and exhausted.

But there’s more to the story. The moth was the whisper. I had been texting John during the drive and pretty soon after I first saw the moth, I texted him “For some weird God thing right now there is a moth in my car, and I believe it’s God reminding me to trust Him in the unexpected movements that I want to see. I wish God wouldn’t remind me through a moth in my enclosed car that won’t get out…ugh!! But I must let Him do what He may.” I realized the lesson pretty quick for once.

The last two weeks have been very full of unexpected movements that I want to see but find myself having and needing to trust God in it altogether. There are times like this and lessons like these that are uncomfortable like the moth makes me. Yet I’ve been reminded that it’s usually the uncomfortable times that bring the most refining of our faith because it strips it down raw to expose what it really is and what it is lacking. These times are so purposeful, but they are purposeful if we allow God to make them so; in other words, hearing the whisper, drawing near to Him, and allowing Him to do what He may. I think the more and longer I walk behind my Lord I see that we have the choice to be as near or as far to God as we desire and the choice to receive as much or as little as we choose. I see these things to be true. Where I think we often get confused is that we think those truths to be true on our own conditions and in our own ways and means, and they simply are not. His ways are not ours. And thank Him for that!

The situation of the moth definitely exposes where I still would love to see and have control over, as I found myself praying that night “God thank you for this lesson, but do you really have to teach me through a MOTH???” It’s kind of a stupid question in hindsight because I don’t think I would’ve gotten it in any other medium. God knew. His way was not my own. And so often it is not. But His way is always better.

It brings me back to the necessity of hearing God in the whisper. I think we can easily expose and endanger ourselves to the wind, fire and earthquake in a desperate attempt to hear God when in reality, we need to be still and listen to the ways in which He’s already speaking. John said in his blog the other night “God is God. He doesn't communicate like us. He hardly ever speaks in audible words in the way we think of communication and so it is with the Spirit. He communicates without them often times.” There is much truth in that.

This summer has reminded me of what it’s like to hear God in the quiet. It’s taught me greater depths of what it is to hear Him in the whisper. I so often forget in the midst of what He’s been doing and teaching me in regards to my hearing that one of His purposes in me not hearing the world is that I may hear Him, in the quiet, without the roar and distraction that surrounds so many others. That is never to change regardless of where my physical hearing is at. That should be the “hearing” that I tirelessly seek to refine, improve, and listen, for the ways He speaks are of eternal value and will never fall away. This is not to say that I don’t eagerly await the redemption of “broken physical ears” and await His gift in it, but I’m finally getting it into my thick skull that that is not the main point. The test remains in how I hold fast to that truth in the midst of changing circumstance. I am thankful for God laying the foundation now and reminding me of the sweetness of His voice, even if it may bring about difficult things.

We need to remember that God knows us. He knows our every thought, joy, struggle, triumph, and defeat. He has predestined us and knew us before we ever came to be. He loves us with a love unlike any other. God is for us, who can be against us? And what good is it for a man to gain the whole world but forfeit his soul? Those who save their life will lose it but those who lose it will find it. It is not only wise to heed how He speaks and what He says, but a joy and privilege to do so.

He is not in the wind, fire, or earthquake, but in the whisper.

(Matthew 16:24-28), (1 Kings 19)

A Photo Library of Memories

On my computer my screen saver is set to my iPhoto library, playing pictures at random. Needless to say, there’s a very large variety of pictures within it; taken over the course of the last few years from anywhere and everywhere. My screen saver is often playing, especially when I have my computer at work and have taken a few moments to do something else. A few minutes ago as I was attempting to journal and articulate something of the millions of things that are swirling around in my mind and heart, I stopped typing, and after a few minutes, the screen saver started up.

I remember almost every photo I take. I remember where and when I took it, and more than that, the emotional connotation and the context of it. I have grown to love photography so much because of all the meaning it can contain within a single image. As this random slideshow of my own pictures, and namely my life over the last 4 years played tonight, a range of emotion washed over me. I remembered each moment of those pictures, and some seem so long ago, my freshman year of college, though it’s only been 3 years. I remembered the people I’ve known and how we have all changed and grown, and life has surely taken its course.

I’ve been saying for a while now that everything is about to change, and nothing will be the same again. Well, that reality has finally hit. Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s my last week here in Colorado Springs before heading back to school next week after being home for what should be my last summer here. Or maybe it’s the fact that yesterday I talked to my best friend over Skype at 7 in the morning my time and 10 pm hers, as she is walking into a new adventure in her life. It might’ve been a text I sent last week that ended up being rather prophetic in nature. It could also be the fact that I said good-bye to Tine’s little sister today who I have known since she was 7 and is heading off to college in a couple weeks. Or maybe it was the conversation I had with my brother today at his apartment, hanging out like we never have before.

But really, it’s not just one of those many things (and many more) that has happened to set reality into motion. In many ways, to classify one of those things to set reality in motion is like looking at one picture in a medley in my slideshow, thinking “that’s when things changed.” A picture is just what it is often coined as, a “snapshot,” referring to one moment captured in time. With as much connotation it can carry, it’s not the full view. But when pictures are compiled upon one another and continue to grow in number, you start to get an accurate picture of the change over a period of time.

There may be pictures from several years ago that remind us of sweet or bitter things. In themselves, they are powerful memories, either moments of bliss or wounds opened. They may remind us of things we do not want to remember. But I think this memory serves us well, because it opens our eyes to what was and if we have allowed things to be healed and changed. They may remind us of hope, an innocence of earlier days that perhaps we have lost sight of in the present yet wish to carry into the future. Memories in themselves are powerful things, just as a snapshot can convey.

But where I believe character is truly shown is over time, over the years. The years reveal what we have learned or haven’t learned, the lessons of God that have brought us through and remain our foundation or the ones we still forget. I believe it exposes our history of inaction or action. I believe it really exposes who we believe God to be, not just in a season or even multiple ones, but in every moment of our lives past, present, and future. I believe that as time progresses, so should we.

It’s why I find myself taking pictures and continue to. It’s why I find myself looking at past ones and remembering. The slideshow of pictures of the past show how little or far we have come and perhaps wakens our eyes to the present and future. The picture-taking adventures I set out on in the present and future occur because I understand that no matter how amazing or memorable the past pictures have been, I know God has more in store, more beauty to reveal, more memories to create, and I would feel I was missing out if I didn’t pursue it to the fullest. I’ve had some memorable picture taking journeys, some smarter than the others, but don’t regret one moment of it. It’s one of my ways of living life to the fullest, or perhaps better said, a metaphor of the act of doing so.

I believe God’s sovereignty to be an incredibly powerful thing, one in which we should always remember and hold fast to. But at the same time, I am coming to understand that His sovereignty is not a reason or excuse not to take action in the very ways He has commanded us to do so. We abuse it then. We don’t hold fast to what He has given and remain good stewards of it. And I know that’s one of the last things I want to do in this life He has given me, to say “Yes Lord, I choose You and Your ways” and then never set out to walk in them or walk in them fully.

It’s not just the iPhoto slideshow that is flooding me with memories. I have so much swirling around in my mind and heart as of the past few days that I can never articulate on my own efforts. God is flooding me with memories, flooding me with truth, flooding me with promises, flooding me with vision, and flooding me with longsuffering hope. Remembering the past, what has shaped me, encouraged me, or even hurt me, helps me to move forward, because it magnifies both what God has done and what I still have yet to let Him fully redeem. Sometimes we have to look back in order to be able to move forward. Sometimes we have to remember the things of the past, whether sweet or difficult, to understand how we can walk into the future. And a lot of the times we have to be reminded of the progression of pictures, the very character we have developed, to realize that over time things do change and we have to walk in them accordingly.

As I started to say earlier, everything isn’t simply going to change, everything already is. There’s been a wave of relative consistency in my life over the last 21 years. There’s a new wave coming. It surely requires me to trust God in ways I haven’t before and see Him move in ways I wouldn’t expect. But the old wave has brought a stronger belief and steadiness in my dear Lord that carries me into the future…that though I may not know, I may not understand, He surely does, and His right hand holds me fast. There is nothing I need doubt of His character or who He is in my life, because He surely works all things out for good, even the most difficult ones. I don’t think this new wave is going to be easy, but I hold so strongly to the belief that God is going to blow me away. The very pictures He has set in place in order to show us the greater mysteries of Him and His love are beckoning me to dive deep within. I want this new wave to show God to be who I know He is and forever will be, and continue to shatter the love and knowledge I have for Him. The Lord is my Keeper. I know my cries are heard, and I know He answers. I know my faith in Him is not in vain. I hold fast to see what He will do in this new wave.

In time, new photos will be added to the library, both holding meaning on its own and building on the medley that shows my life and where God has brought me.

As He has in the past, so He will in the future-He will always lead me through.

"While I cannot be there right next to you to hold
you as you walk through the field, I am 
carrying you even from here, and I am laying 
you in the hands of our saviour who loves you 
so very dearly and will guide you through and 
make sure that you are whole in Him in the end."

From my beautiful best friend across an entire ocean...
her words say more than enough

Field of Lies

Out in a field seemingly untainted and pure
I drink in the beauty that surrounds
Breathe in the air deep and take it all in
It’s moments like this that remind me of who God is
And I find myself in perfect peace drinking it all in

I go to walk through it, to experience it more
Making myself vulnerable to the things uncontrolled
For this is the field reminding me of the Lord
Therefore, I go forth, but then I forget
To watch my step for what lies underneath

Because before I know it, I’ve stepped on a mine
The once pure field has become one of lies
Narrowly escaped the aspect of death
I find myself reeling from the pain
And wonder why this place has become defiled

I forget that in the midst of beauty there’s still an enemy who resides
One who lays traps and runs and hides
Leaving those ignorant to their own demise
He hates all things good and pure
And bitterly opposes the battle in my own heart

Though in this the greater battle has already been won
There are still so many mines and lies
And each step forth, though closer to the end
Makes me take caution with every move
When all I want to do is to simply be free

I can’t keep walking on mines
I can’t keep narrowly escaping
only to have to pick myself up once again
Trying to ignore the pain and lies
And once again cling to the hope for which I fight

In this world they seldom send soldiers out to battle on their own
No, together they fight
And when one’s down the other carries him over his shoulder
To lift him up and keep him from demise
They cling to the cause of which they fight
Believing firm in the hope that they will prevail
Yet to win the battle, they are stronger when side by side

I’m walking in this field of beauty
Trying to drink in God’s presence and romance
But there is an enemy still that I must fight
And maybe one day I’ll better understand the pattern of the mines
But for now, I have to fight the lies

Everything

On this blog as of late, there are seldom times in which I write about something not from a first-person perspective, or for the purpose of speaking to people rather than sharing with people. I was thinking about that today and wondering why such a change has occurred in me. The thing that I've been able to pull away from that thought is that when it comes down to it, I am no different than anyone else out there in the world, from those who know me the most intimately to those who will never have any idea that I exist. I, like everyone else on this earth, am a sinner that falls so incredibly short of the glory of God. I, like everyone else on this earth, am seeking to find purpose in this life and to make it meaningful, even daring to dream that perhaps, in some way, my life could make a difference.

This being said, it may sound purposeless to blog or even share what it is that I am going through, learning, or thinking about. What brings me back to it, however, is the fact that in my own search for purpose, in my search for meaning, in my lofty dreams that my life could make a difference, I am finding One who is truly set apart from all of us here on this earth. I am finding One who calls me intimately into His presence in order that He may redeem me, sanctify me, and set me apart by the mark of His blood. My search has ended with the beginning of a journey, and that is one of coming to know and understand One who is so infinitely unlike me, and unlike anyone I will ever find here on this earth. My search has culminated in the beginning of this journey, because I have come to understand that the things I have always sought after or dared to dream can only be found within this path. It brings a purpose to my life that wasn't there before. But more so, it brings reason for breathing, reason for singing, reason for living, because I am on the journey of knowing One greater than myself, greater than my life, greater than anything that could ever be imagined. It is within Him that everything can truly be found. In my seeking of Him and losing everything else, it is then I truly gain.

And perhaps that's the purpose of this blog...because though I am so like everyone else here on this earth by nature, there has been and is One who shows me what it means to be set apart. There's this journey He has me on, and while it is intimately personal and tailored to who I am and what He desires me to become; the fact is the prospect of the journey is open to everyone. It comes at a price, yes, the very blood of Jesus Christ, but He deemed us worthy of it. It comes with the aspect of learning what it means to lose our life so we can truly find it. It doesn't come with anything easy, but it is more than worth it. And that's why I share. I share my journey in hopes that others will be beckoned to the One I know, and either begin their own journey with Him or continue to follow hard after Him, renewed by the joy of His presence and an understanding of His immeasurable grace. This is the goal of my life, that those who know me would ultimately know Him, because He's far better than I ever will be.

And with that, I share what God's been doing in my heart and life as of late, giving you my journal entry from tonight. May you be blessed by His presence, and may He speak to you through the words of a sinner such as myself as He so chooses.



Dear Lord,
I haven’t journaled for a week. That keeps becoming more and more of a normal occurrence, which I never would have imagined it would, due to how much I have written in the past. However, it is perfectly in the season You have me in, as I say over and over again.

I have just found myself completely overwhelmed with who You are, my dear Lord. I was driving to meet Emily today and I was just tearing up immediately in the car as I thought of You. And Lord, it’s still so true. I find myself more in love with you than ever before. I find myself in Your presence more than ever before, and with it all comes so much peace and knowledge of who You are. I find the truths I have come to know over the 8 years I have known You really fully taking root. Your words just flood my brain as I think about such things and find myself in different situations. There’s this steadiness that only You can bring.

The book I read and have been reading, In the Meantime, has been one of the biggest blessings of this summer. You have helped me to see how there is tremendous purpose in the waiting, in the things that may seem monotonous in the present. Lord, though I can’t see it fully yet, I can understand how what You have been bringing me through especially this summer are preparing me so much.

I’ve been praying about the bible study/gig in the art department the last couple weeks. And Lord, I believe You have just now given Your answer. Lord, the fact is, I know how to do a bible study. I know how to lead a group of people. I know how to disciple. With the exception of discipling and pouring into those who You call me to pour into, I need to not focus on structured things that I can control. The fact is, I don’t know how to be mission-minded in every moment. I don’t know how to let You minister through me without me knowing it in those types of situations. I don’t know how to be intentional with the Gospel in my relationships with non-believers in a way that’s not trying to convert them or appearing to have that mindset. Lord, I know how to do ministry. And I know how to do friendship. Though there will always be more to learn on that end, I don’t know how to combine the two. And the fact is, that is what people are looking for first and foremost. Believers who will be real. People who will love and accept them. Christians who walk the walk and live in this world but not of it. Lovers of God who will enter their world and show them something greater. There is far too much structure in how we reach people and it’s turning people off more than winning. I believe there is a greater need and focus in how we allow You to move, rather than there being a systematic approach.

It’s interesting that this is coming from my hands, but I do believe it to be something You have been showing me this summer. A great picture of that is this morning. We went to church for the first time this summer. The Paauws invited us because Mr. Paauw was preaching. My dad came. You know how much I have been praying this summer for those kinds of opportunities for my parents to see You and know You more, and for my dad to turn to You. Yet Lord, still You have commanded me to wait and not take action in the ways I normally would. And Lord, today it was so clear why. What was spoken about this morning was the beauty of the gospel, why it is good news, how it has been advancing and prophesized since the beginning of all time, and how even the disciples didn’t get the full implication of what it means. In every way, it made the gospel relevant to every human being and also showed it as the incredible redeeming love and grace it possesses. I couldn’t pick anything better for my dad to hear, and I couldn’t have picked a better time, place, or person for him to hear it from. You met him where he is at, because You know where he’s at. I wasn’t to play a part in it this time. Same with my mom. She needs to take these actions on her own, and not because it’s simply something I do. She needs to seek after You because of who You are. I’m so thankful for this morning, because I truly believe it did something far greater in an hour and a half than I could’ve done on my own efforts in this entire summer.

That’s where it gets hard sometimes, because we are inclined to do the opposite of what we should actually be doing in a situation. When we are told to take action, we stand still, and when we are told to wait, we rush forward. It’s this sinful flesh that still opposes the things of You and must continue to be sanctified and redeemed. It is so much in those situations that we have to come to You and die to ourselves in order that Your will, not our own, be done. It’s in those beautiful moments such as this morning that remind us of Your sovereign control and how You know far better than we do. It’s in the moments in between that we must hold fast to the knowledge we have of You, trusting and knowing that Your ways surely are better than our own.
That’s where I’ve found myself overwhelmed. Lord, there has been nothing of me this summer because You have stripped it all away. You have been bringing me to the place where I hold fast to You alone and love You because of who You are, nothing else. Lord, You know at the beginning I felt raw and exposed, because there was no longer things that I fabricate for myself to hide behind. But as I stand still in moments You give me, I find myself tearing up in tears of praise because Lord, You are so much better. You are so much greater.

It’s like everything of You is water in a crystal clear lake. Left alone and in its purity, there is nothing else that compares. We have the blessing of observing it and letting it be what it is, and when You choose to pour it out upon us, You will. I see two ways we could interact with this situation. One being that we are in complete ignorance of how dirty we are and in an attempt to be part of your plans, we jump in without Your consent and defile the purity of what You are doing. Another being that we wait on You, knowing that we, by our own means and ways, have no right ourselves to interact with such pure things. If we are chosen by You to interact with pure things such as water, it must be in the manner of being cleansed by it, being baptized by it, being in full knowledge of our defilement and Your purity. We cannot ever think ourselves of the same nature You are. Therefore, we on our own, do not have the right to associate or immerse ourselves in things of You. We can only do so when we realize we have been bought at a price and that we are part of Your grand plan only by grace. We treat these matters with so little regard and we wonder why we continue to fall on our face, why these things seemingly of God never seem to quite work out…

And that’s where we must know that there is nothing of ourselves that can bring any more worth to who You already are. We must live our lives seeing through eyes of humility, humbly accepting who we are. It is when we realize that we are nothing, You can fully be everything. When we allow You to bring us to that place where we truly experience and taste it, we finally come to understand at least in part that You are God in Heaven and we are here on earth. We finally come to understand that there is such a deep mystery in our relation with You and how that is possible and then allow that to become even more of a mystery. It becomes a romance, in which things seem new every morning and one feels more alive than they ever have before. It becomes something that is beyond words and better manifested in tears and silence. It becomes all of these things we have never dreamed of experiencing because we have never before understood what it means to get out of the way. It becomes, for the first time, a truly unhindered communion with You, because we have begun to understand this place You have us on this earth while we dwell in Your presence, awaiting the Kingdom to come that has been advancing since the days of John the Baptist. It becomes all of these things that You have forever created it and destined it to be, because we finally understand not only what it is to be truly nothing, but to rejoice in that very fact. It has been a long time of breaking, and will continue to be a daily death to self, but is the beginning of what it means…

…to let You be everything.