In the Whisper

I have long heard John refer to 1 Kings 19 and how Elijah did not hear God in the wind, fire, or earthquake, but rather in the whisper. And it’s honestly a little strange for me to be writing about this personally because I feel as if I’m stealing his lesson from him or something, but I do see how God has used the lesson He’s been teaching John to help me recognize it as well. So therefore, I will write about it.

It was about a week and a half ago that I was driving home at night on a two-lane highway from John’s house and our anniversary date we had just had. After about probably 15 minutes of driving, I saw a moth come up through the vents by my windshield, the ones that defog your windshield. This may not seem like that big a deal, but for those of you who don’t know, moths are my #1 detested, skittish creature. It has to do with a time about 10 years ago when a moth flew into my mouth and I couldn’t get it out speedily. Needless to say, I’ve been somewhat traumatized by them and detest them since that time. So when I saw the moth crawl out from that vent, I was disgusted and tensing up more and more by the second. I don’t like them in themselves, and then to have one in a dark, enclosed car while moving ~70 mph on a two-lane highway at night is just a bad situation.

I was already having a bit of a rough time on my drive home before the moth appeared. The moth was really the last thing I needed or wanted. It was still on the dashboard for a while and I was able to tolerate it. However I was realizing that if it started flying around, it would be a really bad thing because I cannot control my reaction to moths. I freak out, literally. I decided to pull off the road before an accident happened and get the moth out of my car. It took a little bit of effort, but I succeeded.

Or so I thought. About two minutes later, a moth started flying all around my head and I lost it. It made me angry, upset, frustrated, tense, and also released a lot of pent-up emotions. I decided to drive the last 20 minutes home with all the windows open so that one, either the moth would fly out, or two, the wind would keep me from knowing it was touching me. Needless to say, I got home cold, tense, and exhausted.

But there’s more to the story. The moth was the whisper. I had been texting John during the drive and pretty soon after I first saw the moth, I texted him “For some weird God thing right now there is a moth in my car, and I believe it’s God reminding me to trust Him in the unexpected movements that I want to see. I wish God wouldn’t remind me through a moth in my enclosed car that won’t get out…ugh!! But I must let Him do what He may.” I realized the lesson pretty quick for once.

The last two weeks have been very full of unexpected movements that I want to see but find myself having and needing to trust God in it altogether. There are times like this and lessons like these that are uncomfortable like the moth makes me. Yet I’ve been reminded that it’s usually the uncomfortable times that bring the most refining of our faith because it strips it down raw to expose what it really is and what it is lacking. These times are so purposeful, but they are purposeful if we allow God to make them so; in other words, hearing the whisper, drawing near to Him, and allowing Him to do what He may. I think the more and longer I walk behind my Lord I see that we have the choice to be as near or as far to God as we desire and the choice to receive as much or as little as we choose. I see these things to be true. Where I think we often get confused is that we think those truths to be true on our own conditions and in our own ways and means, and they simply are not. His ways are not ours. And thank Him for that!

The situation of the moth definitely exposes where I still would love to see and have control over, as I found myself praying that night “God thank you for this lesson, but do you really have to teach me through a MOTH???” It’s kind of a stupid question in hindsight because I don’t think I would’ve gotten it in any other medium. God knew. His way was not my own. And so often it is not. But His way is always better.

It brings me back to the necessity of hearing God in the whisper. I think we can easily expose and endanger ourselves to the wind, fire and earthquake in a desperate attempt to hear God when in reality, we need to be still and listen to the ways in which He’s already speaking. John said in his blog the other night “God is God. He doesn't communicate like us. He hardly ever speaks in audible words in the way we think of communication and so it is with the Spirit. He communicates without them often times.” There is much truth in that.

This summer has reminded me of what it’s like to hear God in the quiet. It’s taught me greater depths of what it is to hear Him in the whisper. I so often forget in the midst of what He’s been doing and teaching me in regards to my hearing that one of His purposes in me not hearing the world is that I may hear Him, in the quiet, without the roar and distraction that surrounds so many others. That is never to change regardless of where my physical hearing is at. That should be the “hearing” that I tirelessly seek to refine, improve, and listen, for the ways He speaks are of eternal value and will never fall away. This is not to say that I don’t eagerly await the redemption of “broken physical ears” and await His gift in it, but I’m finally getting it into my thick skull that that is not the main point. The test remains in how I hold fast to that truth in the midst of changing circumstance. I am thankful for God laying the foundation now and reminding me of the sweetness of His voice, even if it may bring about difficult things.

We need to remember that God knows us. He knows our every thought, joy, struggle, triumph, and defeat. He has predestined us and knew us before we ever came to be. He loves us with a love unlike any other. God is for us, who can be against us? And what good is it for a man to gain the whole world but forfeit his soul? Those who save their life will lose it but those who lose it will find it. It is not only wise to heed how He speaks and what He says, but a joy and privilege to do so.

He is not in the wind, fire, or earthquake, but in the whisper.

(Matthew 16:24-28), (1 Kings 19)