"Thank God that He gives us difficult things to do"

So, this is my first blog post from our new apartment in Brooklyn, New York. I knew this move would be coming eventually for a long while, but now that we are actually here, it still seems surreal in many ways. Overall, the first week we have been here has not been terribly difficult. But, there have been difficult moments.

There are moments where it’s hard to fully embrace the fact that John and I packed up all of our things, spent three days driving across the country and a lot of money doing it, to end up here in Brooklyn, New York, which is a world of its own. I still chuckle a bit to myself when John and I were first talking about where we wanted to move in NYC when we did…I thought that off the island would be less of a culture shock than on. I am finding that to be very incorrect. Living on the island is a culture shock to the typical American way of life…generally no personal cars, no big yards, no separation of residences, having to buy groceries every few days and carry them, the amount of money it takes to live in one small apartment, etc. But living off the island is another world in itself. On our subway line, we are almost always the only non-Jewish whites on the train when we get off/on at our stop. The way people interact is so different. We have a large Carribean black community around us, and we live smack dab in the middle of a Hasidic Jewish community. In all honesty, seeing these different ways of interacting and living is refreshing in many respects, as it is so much more community based. It still does make me crave familiarity and comfort though. It makes me want to be selfish and do what I can to secure my own happiness and comfort and safety.

Yet in this, I know there’s a conflict within myself, because I know that this is not what it is about. The words of Oswald Chambers a few days ago resonate with me so…

If we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all noble things are difficult. The Christian life is gloriously difficult, but the difficulty of it does not make us faint and cave in, it rouses us up to overcome. Do we so appreciate the marvellous salvation of Jesus Christ that we are our utmost for His highest? God saves men by His sovereign grace through the Atonement of Jesus; He works in us to will and to do of His good pleasure; but we have to work out that salvation in practical living…Thank God He does give us difficult things to do! His salvation is a glad thing, but it is also a heroic, holy thing. It tests us for all we are worth. Jesus is bringing many "sons" unto glory, and God will not shield us from the requirements of a son. God's grace turns out men and women with a strong family likeness to Jesus Christ, not milk sops. It takes a tremendous amount of discipline to live the noble life of a disciple of Jesus in actual things. It is always necessary to make an effort to be noble. July 7th

I love that he does not water down the truth of what it is like to be a follower of Jesus Christ. It is difficult. We are so easily divided by what we want and what we know we should do. We take upon Jesus as a personal Savior and comforter and make God a servant of our desires and wills. But it is about Him working “in us to wil and to do of His good pleasure…Jesus is bringing many sons to glory and God will not shield us from the requirements of a son.” He does not exist purely to bring glory to me and my circumstances, but rather that all may have the opportunity to know Him and that He can bring many sons to glory. As believers, we have already received so much. There are countless others who have yet to receive and know the grace of the Lord. We need to live as disciples of Jesus, and “remember that all noble things are difficult…and that the Christian life is gloriously difficult…”

With Him or without Him? In a city where it is so prevalent who knows Him and who doesn’t, it only reinforces my answer of “Yes, Lord…anything with You,” even when it is difficult. Knowing the fact alone that Jesus is with us and will never leave or forsake us is such a gift of grace. Yes, following Him and forsaking comfortable and familiar things is never easy, but I do pray that “the difficulty of it does not make me faint and cave in,” but rather that it would “rouse me up to overcome.” His Salvation truly is a glad thing, a heroic thing, a holy thing. In a city where there is so much need, this truth only resonates all the more.


Will is the whole man active. I cannot give up my will, I must exercise it. I must will to obey, and I must will to receive God's Spirit. When God gives a vision of truth it is never a question of what He will do, but of what we will do. The Lord has been putting before us all some big propositions, and the best thing to do is to remember what you did when you were touched by God before - the time when you were saved, or first saw Jesus, or realized some truth. It was easy then to yield allegiance to God; recall those moments now as the Spirit of God brings before you some new proposition. Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, July 8th

I know that I must grow into embracing and stepping beyond myself in living in this city. I must exercise my will in obeying the Lord and receiving His spirit. I know that He will never change and will be faithful to do what He promises; I am the fickle one.

This time of change reminds me much of the summer I spent in Santa Monica on summer project with Campus Crusade. I was so utterly and completely uncomfortable and somewhat unhappy to be there for the first week. I asked myself why I ever agreed to do this, and that it would’ve been so much better to go home for the summer. Yet, what I found in that summer is that God met me incredibly in the midst of my discomfort and resistance to being there. When one is stripped of all that he/she holds dear and familiar, there is nothing left to do but either reject or embrace the Lord, the One who remains. Embracing the Lord in these times of great need and change is sweet. At the end of that summer, I left having grown more than I would’ve ever imagined in the ways of trusting the Lord, stepping out in faith, witnessing to others, and serving. All because I was uncomfortable and forced to step outside of what was familiar and engage it.

And I know that this is so good and healthy to do. The world is so much bigger than what we choose to see and define within the little boxes we create for ourselves. In New York City, there are so few boundaries. Everything and everyone mixes together at least to some small extent. In Santa Monica, we talked to people from 20 different countries in the course of 10 weeks. It was fascinating. Jesus is universal, and the need for Him is universal. It is only within such diversity can one fully understand that.

I remember then that after the initial resistance, “it was easy to yield allegiance to God;” and I now “recall those moments as the Spirit of God brings before me this new proposition” of living, working, and ministering in New York City. I know this is good. I know it won’t always be easy. I know that this amount of change gives me the chance to fully embrace or reject the Lord, and I certainly choose to embrace Him. And I “Thank God that He gives us difficult things to do.”

Three Things in Transition

There’s yet another transition on the brink. In about 36 hours, John and I will be on the road with our Penske truck beginning our four-day endeavor of moving to Brooklyn, New York. In some ways, this type of transition is so similar to others. In other ways, it’s entirely different. But, as the end of all things brings a revelation to what the season has entailed or lacked, so this one does also.

In this time of transition, I am reminded of how I am able to deal with new change and transition well as long as I have the three following things: the Lord (thankfully He’s always there); a home base; and at least one person I know well alongside me for the journey and changes. I know it takes me a little bit of time to adjust to new things, but once I have that initial period with the three things I mentioned above, then I’m usually good to go and do well in the new phase of life.

It’s funny though, how this time around, I am realizing how those three things are also key to me being able to end things well also. I have never realized this before. So, where am I now with this?

The Lord has been so sweet and gracious in this season and in my life. I know I never need to doubt Him, His presence, and provision. There have been different home bases here in Colorado, each with its own merits and some with their own challenges. I have been able to walk through this season as a newlywed, loving this journey with my husband and finding such provision and grace from the Lord in having John in my life.

Community with friends has been very rich lately. This last month has been filled with community in so many varying forms. We have been able to visit our best friends out in SLO for a week and connect with other dear friends there. I can’t even begin to describe how much I was blessed by the week in SLO with Elise Thelander. She and I have lived so much of life together, and it was sweet to live life together for another week, which also happened to be her last week in SLO before she moved away in preparation for her move to Santa Barbara and starting her own new phase of life. In reflecting about our conversations in the weeks that have followed since then, I am appreciating more and more what life-giving words and thoughts we were able to share and confide in each other in. We truly are well known by one another, and it was sweet to talk through so many of the same aspects of transitions that we are each going through at the same time now. Right before I saw her, I was able to spend a whole weekend with my roommates from college, whom I treasure beyond measure. We are all going through transitions in different ways, but as we are known by each other, there was sweet camaraderie in our time together. I also have been able to spend time with my best friend in Colorado as she is moving to Argentina a week after we move to Brooklyn. We have been friends for about 14 years, more than half our lives. Our fellowship is so sweet and the Lord uses our times together to challenge and confirm many things in the other’s lives.

In our visit to New York for our apartment searching, John and I were able to have a whole week of undivided time with just each other, working towards the same common goal. That was a huge blessing and a wonderful foreshadowing of what more is soon to come. Then, we also got to have dinner with a wonderful couple that are leaders in the church that we are going to be a part of. The Lord has certainly made New York City a very small city, as the guy is from Colorado Springs and was actually in the same 3rd and 4th grade classes as my brother. There was sweet community there in engaging with people that we don’t know much yet but share a similar background.

We also got to see one of our greatest friends from college on Friday, and it is always good to catch up on life and where the Lord is leading us respectively. He has been a solid anchor in our lives since freshman year, and we appreciate him greatly.

There has also been much time with family, particularly over this year we have been back in Colorado. It has been very good to learn and become a part of our spouse’s family and embrace them as our own also. This is time that we seldom don’t have the opportunity for, and the Lord has been very gracious in giving it.

So at the end of that very long recap, it makes me think about the current transition and the ending of this season. In some ways, it is very easy. In other ways, it is difficult, because not all of the things that I need for transition are fully there. Some things have been very hard. I’ve had to ask the Lord the reason for it, as I want things to end well and fully, and I don’t feel that they currently are in some ways. I am realizing that this week in between our visit to New York and our move to New York only solidifies what I truly value, believe in, and need. I need a home base where I feel valued and that I have a place in. I need community where I feel well known, and are willing to put in the effort with me in forging relationships and developing them. I do not do well with mediocrity. I do not do well when there is little communication and lack of understanding.

I know that the Lord uses these lacks to remind me of His provision of home and community within Himself, and I am so thankful that within Him, I can truly rest. However, I also know He has instilled these values within me as part of who I am to the core, and those do need to be met with community and home too.

The new realization tonight in this, is that John and I may have to work for these things to be manifested in our community and home in ways that we haven’t had to before. New York City is a whole different world. I think it is easy to think that our community has come easy to us before, and in some ways it has. In others though, we have had to work through things with people and fight for relationships. We don’t know what it will look like in New York City yet. But, tonight I am thankful for the reminder at the end of the transition of who I am at the core and what I need to thrive. It’s not there in every way at the end right now. It may not be there in every way at the beginning. Yet, I will trust the Lord to provide and be prepared to work in a way that I haven’t before for these things to be manifested.