Glimpses of Gifts

For a long time I wondered what it would be like to see people through Your eyes, and pondered such over this last year. Dear Lord, You know how when I see some kind of mystery within someone that I desire to know what it is. I desire to know a person fully and completely, and get past all of the surface antics that seem to be so commonplace nowadays.

This time last year I was beginning to get a glimpse of something You have bestowed in me, which is an uncanny ability to read people very well. My friends in high school hated it at times when they would try to hide something from me but were unable to. Yet I was persistent in getting them to talk and be open and honest, and later found out that it made a difference in their lives. Some of my friends were going through some really tough things in high school, and at the end of high school they told me that it meant the world to them that I always knew what was going on and asked them about it, even when they didn’t want to talk. Others said they didn’t know what they would’ve done without me doing such. It was then I began to realize that You have gifted me in some way with people, O Lord.

Throughout this past school year, I experienced it again in a lot of different ways with different people. It was different because I knew them only in the context of college and the dorm, whereas my high school friends I knew a lot more about. Lord, You did a lot in me learning how to trust the Holy Spirit and the wisdom You bring through that, and then to act on it. It was different because with people I didn’t know as well, I doubted myself reading the Holy Spirit correctly. Yet over time, O Lord, You increased my confidence in heeding the Holy Spirit and acting upon it. It’s hard for me to say exactly which times because one, I don’t remember all of them, and two, it’s easy for me to think that it was me and not You. I need to have confidence in the way You move, and also have confidence in what You are doing.

I think there’s two encounters with Colin that outline Your gift the best. They happened closely to the same time. Colin and I went skydiving, and we had a talk the night before about our upcoming fears heading into the summer. The next day, the day we were to go skydiving, Colin was majorly attacked by Satan. Lord You allowed me to see this, and even before I went to pray for him after he asked me to. I saw the fear manifesting itself through skydiving, and how Satan was trying to take away even the skydiving in an attack to diminish all his confidence in facing any fear inside of him. You have given Colin such a warrior’s heart and there is great attack in that. His adventurous side was being greatly attacked by Satan and was about to prevent him from jumping because he felt sick. The whole time he talked to me I barely heard any words he said because I could see the war inside of him, stemming from what we talked about the day before. After praying about it and heeding Your spirit more, I went back and told him before we left that You were telling me to tell him to jump, that it was going to be a concrete example of facing all of his fears, to jump fully into them and allow You to conquer them. He told me he wasn’t afraid of jumping, and I knew that wasn’t it. However, Satan is a master deceiver and did so that day with Colin. After that whole day Colin told me that You used that conversation with him in a significant way. As a result of that Lord, I began to clearly see what it is that You are gifting me with.

Another time with Colin was just when we were in the study lounge and he was reading something on his computer, and I was across the room and knew exactly what it was and what he was doing before even approaching him. He couldn’t believe it, and frankly, I was surprised too. It was so instantaneous, a glimpse given by You. Things like that have happened with a lot of other people as well.

In addition, there’s been one or two times with John this summer in which You spoke clearly to me about his situation he was in at the time. Granted, You have woven us so closely and tightly together that it happens both ways and will continue to, but I was really struck by it one time in particular, at the beginning of project. John was venting his frustrations with being home and as he talked, You spoke to me, and You told me exactly what to tell him about walking blindly into the spirit and embracing the silence. It was amazing to see what You did with that, and also, more amazing, that it came at the beginning of project before all of the growth that has occurred.

Shelley as well, O Lord. Oh Lord, how You’ve blessed me with Shelley and how she is a mystery that will never completely been solved. But Lord, it was so beautiful to see what You did in our friendship over this past year because she was so guarded and so difficult to get to know. You spoke to me so many times about her and what it was that needed to be spoken and there’s so much more light in her now. We’re experiencing a friendship that wouldn’t have been experienced otherwise, without the wisdom of Your Holy Spirit that You gave to me about her.

And there’s so many more, O Lord, from this year. From this summer however, I found it remarkable of being able to speak utter truth to people that I barely knew or talked to over project. There were times I said exactly what they needed to hear without me trying to do that at all. That was Your Holy Spirit, O Lord, I know that full well. There were so many conversations with Kristin that You spoke through, and especially one time in encouraging her through what You gifted me to see. It’s hard to put all of it into words, because I don’t want to violate people’s trust, but You know all I am talking about.

I’m also receiving visions in some different forms. Lord, You know that dream You gave me the other night as project was ending and I was praying for my mom and dad before bed. Lord, I dreamed that my dad had fully awaken to You and realized that all that he has believed for so long was just a bunch of rubbish and that he had been so blind for so long. He told me “the veil is lifted, I don’t know why I didn’t see it all along!” He was passionate, fully on fire for You, and he and my mom were passionately seeking You out and worshipping You together. It was so incredibly beautiful, and so amazingly real. It took me about half of the day to realize it happened in my sleep and not during my waking hours. Such clarity is only done by You, and I think it was the second vision, the conclusion to the first one about my parents You gave me a while ago. How incredible that is, O Lord! It was one of the most beautiful things You have given me. And Lord, what’s amazing is I have full confidence You will fulfill that, because it was such a promise given by You! You are going to move when I am home, and will continue to!

You also know of Your promise You have foretold with my ears, O Lord, and the healing of such. That is something to happen in the future, but something You spoke to me before it is to happen, to tell me Your divine will in that. There’s so much more to say…

Lord, what is it that causes me to see so much within people and for people? It’s Your Holy Spirit, I know that full well. I’ve been hesitant to put a name to it for such a long time, but Lord, is this prophecy in the form with people? I’m looking at Webster’s dictionary and the definition for prophecy is: “The inspired utterance of a prophet, viewed as a declaration of divine will, such a revelation transmitted orally or in writing.” And prophesy is: “to reveal by divine inspiration, to reveal the will or message of God.”
That sounds like what it is, O Lord, and I believe it is what You are revealing and doing in me. And Lord, You know there’s so many cases of prophecy in the Bible, I mean, the Bible basically is prophecy and the fulfillment of it! I know it’s biblical! That’s a gift, O Lord, and one I must not take lightly. It’s been incredible to see what You have done as a result of that.

There’s a huge part with this I can’t neglect, and that is the necessity of prayer and staying in Your word. Satan is out to deceive and twist around truth, and I need to make sure I am always rooted in it. There is great power from You in this, and I need to make sure I handle it well. Another thing is that I need to use prayer in an effort to see more. I think there’s a lot I’m not tapping into yet that You are willing to show me and do.

I pray You will lead me by Your Holy Spirit in all of this. Dear Lord, with this I pray I will always let Your Holy Spirit lead me as to what and when to speak. I pray I will bring back all of these things to the Word. Let it always be for the purpose of Your will and glory. Continue to reveal to me what this gift is and what it needs to entail, O Lord. I’m not worthy of such a gift, but if this is one of the gifts You have given me to glorify You and build up the body, then let me do such! It’s fully You, my Dear Lord!