Stubborn Steel

Basically I don't know why God speaks to me through so many metaphorical ways. I know that's how my mind works and how He has created me, so I'll go with it. Calculus, a walk to class...now steel.

I've been so convicted as I work on this architecture project of mine. It's a group project and basically we're making this ridiculously crazy amazing metal spike that will suspend into the air and also rest on the ground as a bench. It's hard to explain; it's pretty abstract.

We take this raw material, steel, and attempt to make it into something beautiful. Yet for that to happen, it must relinquish its strength to its maker and allow him/her to form it into what it needs to be. Some are more stubborn than others and don't quite go the way we wish. We take so many pieces and intertwine them in order to build something that is solid and firm, all these pieces come together as one, meet at one point higher and farther than we can reach from the ledge we will eventually stretch over.

I find myself frustrated with myself tonight for I find I resemble this structure in so many ways. I bend so easily in lots of ways and allow God to shape me and make me beautiful in that way, yet there are a few stubborn areas and pieces that unconsciously I fight Him on. And when you try to put all these pieces together in a sculpture and place the exterior on in order that it may be finished, it proves to be much more difficult than anticipated. It's usually just those few pieces that didn't go quite the way they were supposed to. Why am I so persistent on having my way and my plans and ideas in certain things? I don't relinquish control in the way I should in certain areas. These pieces that are to come together and meet at a point higher and farther than myself proves to be a struggle because of these few pieces. And still the pieces can't come all together, though I know they won't until I see Him face to face, but still it must continue to take shape and give the clear impression that it is pointing to something higher than myself, my Father.

So You are my Creator, my Maker, Dear Lord. Take these stubborn steel, pieces and ideas of mine and bend them, shape them, in order that they may fit into this sculpture and creation You have made of me. I desire to be complete. I know it will be a difficult process but all the more neccessary. I'm tired of not giving, here I am, here I bend underneath the care of Your hands. Do as You wish, refine Your work in me. May all these pieces come together and be complete.