The Second Time Around...

A quote from my Math teacher regarding answers on our first midterm:
"We have to know perfectly the reason for why our answer is correct--we must be able to defend it and state it clearly. Otherwise, what is the point of doing the work and not knowing why it is correct?"

I'm taking Calculus again this quarter because I didn't do so well last quarter and felt that I could improve by taking it again. Yet as I understand the material so much better than I did, my scores are still not significantly improving. It's been interesting because the professor I have this quarter is the exact opposite from the one I had last quarter, and God has made it clear from the very beginning of this quarter that there are going to be significant things He was going to teach me through my math professor--not about math though. Glimpses have been shown but one came so clearly today...I don't quite know why God has chosen my math professor as a person to speak to me through, but sure...He knows what is best.

As we go on pursuits of knowledge and understanding, there will often be times we are confused and for a long time it doesn't matter how hard we attempt to understand something it won't be clear. But still we push on and don't give up because we seek out the day that things become clear, that things begin to make sense. It is then that our eyes are lifted from the fog that we are in and we begin to say, "yes, it is becoming clear." Such has been calculus for me. Such has been my walk with Christ as well. Yet, it doesn't seem to matter how clear calculus becomes in my mind, if I can't execute it and show it on the test, then my grades reflect that and it comes back to the point of do I really understand, though I claim to? Is it really about the grades? Is it really about what kind of "mark" we get, that shows our status in relation to others? I think not.

Looking within myself and around the classroom today as midterms were handed back, I saw many downcast faces, faces engraven with disappointment as the studying they did didn't seem to produce any results. I saw one boy almost begin to cry. And we try and we try and we do all we can in order to achieve this "status" that says, "yes, you are good. You understand this, it is clear." But how often do we really understand things though we claim to? We claim to understand our faith and who God is in our lives, yet the mark still is low. As sinners we always will fall below the mark, for in comparison to God we are nothing. It's times like this that logic will reason, "well, what's the point then? If we can't ever do well and achieve the high mark, then what's the point?" But it is there that is the point that we miss all the time! The point is that we will never be enough, but still we try and strive and climb in order that we may gain that understanding and knowledge though the mark will always be cast low. It's not about the mark we receive, it's not about how good we are in comparison with others because we are nothing! Yet we have to press on every single moment because it is through that pressing on that our faith is developed and honed , and as that happens, we become more and more sure of it.

I think this is such a big reason why there aren't more Christians today or so many lukewarm. Either pride gets in the way, or then when the Gospel is presented, all they hear is that "I am a sinner, I can't get to Heaven by myself, Jesus died for me....so what's the point?" The point is the cross covered our blood and sin and allows us this blessing of a pursuit after Him! Yes we will never be enough but it is through His grace we are saved; we must never lose sight of this fact. So why keep trying when you don't see the mark improved? Because He is faithful and He rewards those who pursue Him. You seek answers? He has them. You seek love? He is love. You seek confidence? Then approach His throne with confidence and ask what you wish. You seek forgiveness? It is there, it is done, it is finished. You must receive it and not resign yourself to mediocrity.

So lift up your eyes, all you who are downcast and see what has been done for you on the cross! See that it is done and finished and it's there for you to receive. Continue to press on, press on towards attaining knowledge and wisdom and understanding because these hone our faith, though we will never be the righteous ones like we should be, the ones with high marks. And through this you will see and learn that we must "always be prepared to give an answer for the hope we have" (1 Peter 3:15).

"We need to know perfectly the reason for why our answer is correct. We must be able to defend it and state it clearly. Otherwise, what is the point of doing the work and not knowing why it is correct?"
We need to know the reason for why we choose Christ. We must be able to defend it and state clearly why He is the Lord of our lives, why we choose Him above all. Otherwise, what is the point of being a Christian and bearing the name when we don't even know why we do? Why should others receive Him? Forget about marks, seek out wisdom and understanding that will give you these answers. When you seek these out, seek GOD! He alone is the source and the center. The second time around...don't let it pass you by.