Expectation

I find myself wanting so much more in everything. In everything. In my life, other peoples, this campus, this world, I want Christ to fill it to the fullest so it is brimming over with Him. I am not satisfied; I know there is so much more to Him. And I pray He will pour out both the good and the bad, because I know from personal experience, my entire life in so many ways, how so much good can come from the bad. But we must go through the bad first, because it is there we are humbled and stripped away of the things we hold so dear, in order to develop the kind of faith without reward. And through those times we persist and don’t see the light, we trust in knowing that the light exists. It’s like the earth at night, we don’t see the light for it is night, but we know it exists on the other side and is soon to come. I see this right now in so many things. I see this with my family and with my friends and this campus and so many other things. We aren’t seeing the light because He is on the other side, and so we wait in the darkness anticipating the light. So often have I been in that darkness, in that time of waiting and anticipating, knowing He is to come. And while the darkness brings much unexpected and often difficult, the dawn arises and light pours forth exposing everything, and often exposes much beauty; think of sunrises that create skies of splendor and purple mountain majesties. I feel as if we are in the night. Christ's light is on the other side, but it exists. We must go through the night of unexpectedness in order to see the beauty of the morning. I really experienced this last night as I came back to campus. It was a route I had been on several times before yet I didn’t recognize anything and found myself intimidated and unsure, yet as this morning came, I know the light washed away those things. Though pain is radiating in many ways, I still find myself with much joy and reverence. Such is the road He is bringing me on that I must trust Him in, and I know that through this many blessings will be bestowed. It takes the acts of God in order to advance the Kingdom, and that will come, I am sure of it. And that is the road I want to be on.