Cockroaches and Moths

I know the title doesn't sound overly appealing...but read on. Trust me, God's in this.

About a week or so, Mike, our head staff project guy, gave a talk about 2 Corinthians (it's what we studied with the staff here) and the fragrance of God either being appealing or not to people. He then used the analogy that we are the light of Christ, and people are either like moths, drawn to the light, or like cockroaches, dispelled by the light. This metaphor has been on my heart for a while and I've been praying for God to reveal Himself in this. He is...

As for the cockroach story...it's a bit unpleasant, but like everything, God uses it and speaks through it if you listen. I woke up this morning for class and pulled back the sheets to find about half of a squashed cockroach uncomfortably close to my leg. I pulled back the sheets more to find another portion of it closer, and then was wondering where and how he got squashed, only to find the remains on the back of my pj bottoms...basically it was creepy and disgusting and my bed mate and I got rid of those sheets in record time. As I and Amber were sleeping, this cockroach was probably crawling all over us, without us being aware. We woke up shocked at the remains of what had been happening all night and the light exposed what happened in the darkness. As I walked to class and relived the experience, I thought about these cockroaches being creatures of the darkness. How much this experience is an analogy for what Satan does with us. Satan attempts to catch us off guard, while we are "sleeping" in our spiritual walks, and then crawls all over us without us being aware. During the time we are unaware of such actions, but then when light is shed on the darkness, we are shocked at the fact that this was going on without any knowledge on our parts. How often do we do this, how often are we unaware of Satan's schemes because we are resting and not on our guard for his attacks? And then when light is shed, why are we so surprised? When God is at work in our lives and the Holy Spirit's power is displayed, we need to expect these attacks and not be blind to them! And as my behind crushed the cockroach at some point last night, we must realize that we always have Someone stronger on our side, Jesus Christ! He has overcome all and possesses all the victory! So let us flee the things of the darkness and walk fully into the light!

As for the moth analogy goes, it has definitely been something developing this summer. God has been showing me how contagious the light of Christ within us is. He has shown and is showing me how that draws people in and they desire to know what it is. It leaves people in awe of its beauty and they seek after it. Christ is my #1 consummation and all things are of Him, not me! I hate the sinner I am, how selfish I am, but Christ has overcome it all! It's been amazing to experience and go on the path God is leading me, to be in the refining fire and come out pure silver...knowing that it is all Him and not me. I have begun to understand that God is going to use His beauty within me to draw others to Him in significant ways. I am not worthy, but God is still choosing to do so! People are like moths to me, attracted only to the light of Christ within me. This is good, in the fact they can be around the flame, experiencing its warmth and light and know that it is good, desiring more of it for themselves. It is one of the cries of my heart that people would see Christ within me and it would only draw them more to Christ.

Yet, as I think about this analogy, I think about when the moths get too close. Their wings or feet get caught in the flame and it injures them. In one situation I feel that I burned someone and caused him pain. I find myself thinking that I don't want to hurt people, so therefore, either they can't get too close or I need to change something. Here's the thing though-it is Christ within me, not myself! The question I've been asking myself is how do I fully allow Christ to live within me and impact others without them "getting too close and getting burned?" I don't want any other guys attracted to me because I don't want to burn them. The path before me is clear and I'm not going to waver in that. I have full confidence that I did what God called me to do and know that and hold fast to that; I just don't like the fact that pain was inflicted as a result. I was talking to one of my friends here on project tonight about this and he said that perhaps I am getting a taste of what God feels and goes through. Sometimes in growing closer to God there is pain. Sometimes there are trials that injure us and we don't understand. God knows what is best for us and knows that these things help us to grow; that is why He doesn't prevent them. It breaks His heart that we are sinners and must go through this, but it's all necessary to know Him! Perhaps this is the situation now. Perhaps it was necessary that in showing him Christ he was burned, because this will only make him stronger. This is my prayer!

Let us choose to walk in the light, regardless of any consequences or any creatures of the darkness trying to pull us back. We must always press on to His glory!