Sovereign God Revisited

This is part of my journal entry written on a drive back to Phoenix from Sedona, Arizona. My words haven't been aplenty this week, and they are not coming in many different forms such as journal, blog, emails, so on and so forth. Perhaps there's a transparency God is bringing me to expose, and thus, in that, I choose to include this on my blog. Maybe it's nothing complex or profound, but it's a simple truth revisited in a new way in my life, a simple truth that I must cling to. Therefore, Sovereign God Revisited.

I’m looking out at the landscape right now and at this time, it’s very hilly, rocky, and green. We are about to descend into the desert of Phoenix. Lord, it has been so beautiful today. I love seeing new places because it reminds me of the diversity and vastness of You; it is not confined to my little bubble of a world I live in.

I have long been an adventurer to one degree or another. My family has always traveled quite a deal, and because of that, I have seen a great deal of landscape and places in the United States. Yet at times in the adventures, I can clam up, uncertain of what is to come next, because for whatever reason, the safety and comfort I had previously had in the situation vanished. That thought is striking me strongly now, as I think perhaps that has been the realization and struggle of this week.

I’ve been reading The Dangerous Act of Worship and one part speaks about the safety in which we would like to have, but as we pursue You, it becomes less and less in the forms we are so accustomed to. And I would have to agree. The scenery, situations, people, dynamics, so on and so forth, are ever changing, and there is very little constant. Something that has been pressed upon my mind and heart over the last several months is that You are a sovereign God over all circumstance. I think I’ve been realizing that has become a mantra of sorts for me, and I believe it wholeheartedly most of the time. However, as mantras can become normal and commonplace, I think perhaps that has happened with me. There was a drastic change this week in being back with my parents and away from everything familiar. Though in my head I knew the importance and significance of this week, I allowed Satan to intimidate me with it and forgot to let the fact that You are fully sovereign over circumstance rule my heart. I wrote last week about how I believe You are bringing me and others to a time and place of learning what faith is in the things unseen, especially in regards to my hearing loss. I didn’t realize what a tough lesson that would be for me. Elise spoke so much wisdom in her statement that several months ago, we had no idea I’d be in this position I am in. That is so true my Lord. Where I fail to see progress in my immediate situation, I forget the progress that has happened since, the progress that has gone before in order to bring me where I am now. I forget the ebbing motion of the ocean in that there are times in which the waves crash hard on the shore, and there are other times in which the water seems to gently flow to your feet. Regardless of the force and strength, it is always moving, just as You are.

John reminded me of the importance of being still, and I’ve been thinking about that as well. I realize in my own efforts of moving, I can’t have an accurate view of Yours because I do not move at Your pace on my own. It’s like two people dancing with one another, each to a different dance, but each doesn’t know the other person’s dance. They keep moving to their own, trying to figure out the others, but it just doesn’t work that way. One must stop and observe and see the steps of the other, in order that they may move together. There’s not many greater feelings than two people dancing together in harmony, moving to the music and with one another. And in my life Lord, You are my leader, and I must stop and dance to Your steps. When I do so, I find a beauty unspeakable because I see the world through Your eyes, through Your steps, in Your time.

There hasn’t been a lot of thought as to next quarter and what that holds. And perhaps in thinking that there needed to be, I was falling into an old pattern that I am not to return to, at least not in this time. So much of this year has been the day to day, moment to moment, all orchestrated in Your grand scheme of things. That won’t change. You know my tendency for control and how it is far more valuable to me to simply be and trust, living in the Spirit and discerning accordingly. It surely gives You much more room to move, because even in the thinking about a new quarter what it will bring, dreaming You to do the grandest things of all, it still puts You in a box. Lord, we only know and see in part, and as long as we are here on this earth, that fact will not change. Instead of being at unrest every time we do not know or understand what is going on, we should accept it, because it is simply a known reality in an unknown world. Our comfort comes from You alone being sovereign over all, regardless of what is happening. We set our hope on You alone, not on circumstance. In the circumstances surrounding us, we must remember that.

So for now, I will fully be in the moment as You have dictated me to be. I actually have that blessing this week, and I think it is one I need to take accordingly. So often I have to be planning and thinking ahead, but I don’t right now. I will let it rest. I will continue to trust in You, my sovereign God, over all things and all circumstance.