It was a beautiful day, starting out mostly cloudy making for the most spectacular light over the ocean. Time ceased to exist as I drank in the sights I saw around each bend. I got out from time to time to take pictures, and with each opening of the car door I was greeted by a strong wind and a smell of freshness and abundance that brings new life to the soul. It was a cold day on the coast, except up high on the cliffs where I was sheltered from the wind and warmed by the sun. I drove for three hours barely thinking, just listening to worship music and living fully in the moment.
My turnaround point I had made for myself before I started so I wouldn't drive past what I could handle in one day by myself was the town of Big Sur. I approached it and drove through it, and it was as if I were in a foreign land compared to where I'd been for the past couple of hours. The ocean vanished from view and I was surrounded by greenery and trees that touched the sky, a beautiful sight, but one completely unexpected. I was intimidated by it because it changed so drastically, but then I remembered the words of David, saying "surely You are in the valley and I knew it not." I was comforted by that fact and my fears ceased because my God is there from the highest of heights to the depths of the sea, from the mountain tops to the valley low. There is nowhere I can go or flee from His presence. He is everywhere I will ever be...it is my choice to allow Him to manifest His presence to me that I may not only know that truth, but experience it in every moment.
I went back to the cliffs and pulled off the road and stopped to eat lunch I had made that morning. I simply sat and watched the water move. For a long time, I have loved the ocean because it's so vast yet intimate at the same time with the waves crashing on the shore beckoning us into its presence. It has long been a personal metaphor of my relationship with God, in how there's level of depths I have yet to see and understand, but He pursues me relentlessly with the waves always coming onto shore, beckoning me to go in. But I saw something else with it today. I've never been that close to the ocean and that high up at the same time. The ocean is constantly moving, and there's an order and rhythm to it that is seldom seen because of the perspective we have as humans. Our sight is so limited because we are the ones on the shore. We see the waves one, maybe two or three at a time, and we only understand each wave and what it entails as it develops. We didn't see what swelled it up under the surface or exactly how hard or soft it will crash. Based on past observations, we may be able to guess, but each wave is as unique as each grain of sand on the shore. And we don't know what is coming much farther out than two or three waves at a time. Yet, they are ordained, and they are in the perfect order they need to be. God is constantly on the move in a scale bigger than we can comprehend. We must know that, whether we can see it or not. It is a necessity.
After lunch, I got back in my car and started my way back, or more so, the second half of my journey. I started praying out loud, mixed with singing, mixed with laughter, mixed with tears...mixed with so many different things that only the presence of God can bring. And I remembered that He is the One who has softened this heart of mine in such a way that the tears come so effortlessly now. This girl who could barely cry a year and a half ago has been changed. It's been done only by One. There is only One who can raise me to the heights He does, to cause the tears flow as He does, to move me in the way He will. And as the waves have carved away the cliffs of the rugged California coast, so it has been with me...my walls are down. My defense is gone. What has taken so long to be stripped away is finally leaving. God beckons and calls me deeper still.
And surely the God of which I saw today is capable of doing majestic things within me! They must be so small in His eyes, yet I make it so big. I found myself remembering that He doesn't make promises He doesn't intend to fulfill. He will, and He IS. I remembered that He doesn't need me to get His will done here on the earth, but I found myself praying that I may take a part in it. May He be glorified in me in every way, intimately and powerful.
I find myself in a peace and rest I haven't had in some time now. I find myself fully resting and praising God for the fact that He simply IS. I don't have to know or understand the deep truths of everything to simply worship Him because He IS. May I recognize what is before me and praise Him accordingly. But above all, may I see how every aspect of my life has been a pursuit of me created according to my needs, who I am, and who I need to be. My Lord knows me. He knows every part of me. He knows when I rise and fall, what is in my heart and my mind before I speak. He knows me, and He loves me the same. That is surely enough reason for praise. I praise Him.
Glory in the highest.
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