Misgivings

Reminders of God's Graces © Elise Grinstead 2013

"Have you ever said to yourself, “I am impressed with the wonderful truths of God’s Word, but He can’t really expect me to live up to that and work all those details into my life!” When it comes to confronting Jesus Christ on the basis of His qualities and abilities, our attitudes reflect religious superiority. We think His ideals are lofty and they impress us, but we believe He is not in touch with reality— that what He says cannot actually be done. Each of us thinks this about Jesus in one area of our life or another. These doubts or misgivings about Jesus begin as we consider questions that divert our focus away from God. While we talk of our dealings with Him, others ask us, “Where are you going to get enough money to live? How will you live and who will take care of you?” Or our misgivings begin within ourselves when we tell Jesus that our circumstances are just a little too difficult for Him. We say, “It’s easy to say, ’Trust in the Lord,’ but a person has to live; and besides, Jesus has nothing with which to draw water— no means to be able to give us these things.” And beware of exhibiting religious deceit by saying, “Oh, I have no misgivings about Jesus, only misgivings about myself.” If we are honest, we will admit that we never have misgivings or doubts about ourselves, because we know exactly what we are capable or incapable of doing. But we do have misgivings about Jesus. And our pride is hurt even at the thought that He can do what we can’t.

My misgivings arise from the fact that I search within to find how He will do what He says. My doubts spring from the depths of my own inferiority. If I detect these misgivings in myself, I should bring them into the light and confess them openly— “Lord, I have had misgivings about You. I have not believed in Your abilities, but only my own. And I have not believed in Your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it.” –My Utmost for His Highest, February 26

I am both a realist and a woman of faith. Sometimes those two things align with each other; other times they do not. And when they don’t—if I am to truly follow Jesus, faith must win. There are some things the Lord puts before us plainly to follow after Him in, contrary to the reasoning that may contradict it. Do I believe His almighty power to do it? If I am hesitant to answer that in the affirmative, do I really think I am losing something that I didn’t own in the first place? What are my misgivings about the Lord?

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." —Jim Elliot

There are these truths that I know and I have learned to put into practice time and time again in my life; yet, I still have to learn it time and time again. I can so easily make each situation “unique.” Well, it may be “unique” on this side of heaven but on the other it isn’t—God is over all of these situations and His sovereignty does not change. I ultimately cannot keep the things in my life, and He asks me to not keep them now. Again, the question arises, do I believe that He is worthy of not just the trust in my head of what I know of Him, but of the faith in my heart to believe it too?

With other people and their situations—I may be often be able to be a hand or foot of Christ in what they are going through, but so often, their situations are beyond myself. And blessed be that it is so, as it should drive me deeper into the throes of my Lord in prayer and petition, rather than to the end of myself in despair. Logic and emotions still will fail in the end. It is the hard question that must be asked—do I wish to pursue a lifetime of pursuing things by logic and reason, fleeting emotions and desires, attempting to weave that into my faith, or do I wish to put my trust in the only thing that is infinite—my Lord? Logic relies upon myself, emotion is derived from myself; but discernment comes from the Spirit, and that comes from living in the Spirit daily, not within myself. The works of my hands will always eventually come to ruins. If the Lord is in what I do, then I can trust He will sustain it for His appointed time.

It is easy to say “Trust in the Lord.” It is far more difficult to actually do it. Am I willing to let Him reign over the mind’s attempt at control, and the heart’s attempt for emotional security? Take heed, dear soul—remember—He can do what I can’t. His Almighty power will always trump my finite understanding.