Clarity in the Ambiguous

I haven't written for a while most simply because I haven't really known what or had anything to say. That's different.

I've been in this highly ambiguous time in my life, if you will. It's not necessarily that it's ambiguous in itself (though I believe it is) but more so, that where God has me is highly ambiguous to myself. Even explaining it or trying to understand it as a whole seems to bring more ambiguity to something already ambiguous.

But God has been bringing so many elements of this ambiguous whole into clarity that allows me to see that it is all purposeful. One of those elements is that things are supposed to be ambiguous (tired of this word yet? ;-)) at least to some extent.

My faith cannot depend on the foundation of what I understand.

It cannot be about what I do.

It cannot be about the ways I find him in the ways I normally do.

My faith has to be rested on the foundation, love, and trust I have of God to be who He is when everything familiar in every way is stripped away. It has to be raw.

I think so often we take the things God places in our lives as reason to have faith, when instead, they should just be examples of the faithfulness we should already know.

That faith is that He is God, and we are not. That He has rescued us, redeemed us, loved us for who we are (sinners) and in spite of who we are not. That He never changes even in our perpetual fickleness towards him. His character alone displays all the faithfulness we should ever need to believe in Him.

Yet we have to choose to see it.

For me it's been this aspect of waiting and being still. It's highly ambiguous to me as it's contrary to who I myself am, but it's stripping me away of all the ways I do and experience things, simply because I am not doing them. It's leaving me with this raw essence of God and exposes my faith to be what it truly is. That is not always an easy thing, but it has been an incredible blessing. When I allow the foundation to be built that was always designed to be in place, it provides the structure for everything else. Nothing else wavers. Nothing else falls. Any question of faith or difficult things that is posed can stand on the foundation of who I know God to be. It's raw, exposed, just like concrete poured into a hole in the ground to make a basement or the foundation for the rest of the house.

Builders never start building anything else until that is set. Shouldn't we do the same?



I have written about waiting in many different forms this summer that sometimes it seems repetitive. God's showing me that it is thorough instead. There are many more things I could write about with all of it, but that too...

is to wait.