Walking in the Light

I've been thinking a lot about the contrast of the dark and the light, and wondering why in so much light there also seems to be so much dark. Consider a shadow. A shadow is only present in the presence of light, and the stronger the light, the stronger the shadow. I've been seeing this so much as of late in my walk with God, that the more I walk in the light, the stronger the shadows become, and the more severe the attacks Satan will try to war on me. Yet, when I encounter different things in the light, there will always be a shadow. I can choose to either dwell in the shadow or walk past it, recognizing it for what it is, and continue on my journey in the light.

I had a wonderful talk with my best friend here about the "waiting game." We talked about how we always seem to be in this "waiting game," in waiting for what is to come. We often get so ahead of ourselves that we miss out on the present. I was thinking about how when you're a kid, you want to grow up and be an adult, and then when you become one, you wish you were a kid again. Why the dissatisfaction and lack of contentment in where we are at the present? The time we are in will only come once, dare we get ahead of ourselves that we miss what is in store for us at the present? What joy would our lives possess if we were able to recognize those blessings as they occur, instead of looking back and seeing what happened?

And in this lack of contentment, I think I often find myself in the practice of getting things done for the sole purpose of getting them done. What has happened to my joy in what I do and putting forth my best effort in it? It's interesting for me looking back on high school in which I did so many different things and was so successful as a result. Yet here, I am not doing the same thing. I've held back in getting involved with too many things. Is it out of an attempt to do everything with excellence, as John says, or is it out of laziness or weariness? What is the appropriate price one must pay in order to achieve success without spending oneself as a result? I know that's what I did in high school, and I paid a price heavy for that, for I was doing too many things and took my focus off God as a result. I played soccer today for the first time in a long while, and it was so fun. It was something I did for so long, something that used to bring me much joy, but it became a chore after a while. It was because of my perspective and nothing else. I chose to allow it to become a chore. It is up to me to make sure I find the joy in what I am doing. Out of this joy I find will only give me more reason to worship God. I must allow God to lead me to do those things that He wishes me to do and not get involved or do things just for the sake of doing them. I've been down that road. It doesn't get me far.

I'm going to walk in the brilliant light and step past those shadows that come along my path. I know they will come, but I choose to look to the light.