Unleashed

I really hate Satan and all that he tries to do. I've been reminded today of why I hate putting myself in a vulnerable position, for it seems he always comes and attacks me when I'm there. In the past, I've been able to recognize what it was that was causing me to be attacked and so I wouldn't put myself there. I knew in that time I wasn't supposed to be there. The question I've been wrestling with today is how do I battle Satan's attacks in those vulnerable places when it is God who is calling me to go to those vulnerable places? How do I take those steps out in faith and remain strong to the end, even when arrows fly in an attempt to knock me down? I know the Christian life is hard, but is it supposed to be this hard with this much opposition? I think I know the answer and that has me scared tonight. Why with much blessing comes so much attempt to sour it?

I feel so mediocre and small, and in this I know nothing I have is my own. But these blessings I've received, how do I cling to them and offer them up to God without letting Satan have any piece of it? How do I let go of my fear in fully realizing my capacity for love? How do I unleash what God has given me, who God has created me to be, in order to pursue Him with a relentless passion in which all things overflow?

What God spoke to me tonight is that once I fully let go of all my reservations, of all my inhibitions, of all my doubts and fears and everything holding me back and unleash my capacity for love, will come a life revolutionized and beyond set apart for Him. Through that life things I never could imagine will happen and will start happening soon...God has huge plans for me, and like the bird in the picture above, I must let go of my branches and fly, fulling displaying the splendor of my Creator.

But where do I begin? Ever feel like you've gone so far only to end back at square one? That's me tonight.

I don't want to hide behind a facade anymore. I think that I often push these things away or water them down in an effort not to deal with it myself or burden others with it. That's not the way it's supposed to be. God has created me to be real and that is the cry of my heart, to be who God has created me to be...and I can't hold myself back anymore. To all those around me--if you get a part of me, you're now getting all of me, and if that intimidates you, that's the way it is. I'm not going to deny myself any longer. I'm not fully worshipping my Savior if I do.

To You, O God, I'm crying out...let me be unleashed.