Floods

I've been wanting to write for a couple of days now but have been unable to articulate what I want to say. It's been a whirlwind of a week, and the first week of Santa Monica is over. This week has brought so many different things and thoughts and emotions that it's been hard to sort it all out at times.

I have been seeing and experiencing God pursuing me passionately this week in an intensity I haven't experienced much before. It's a bit overwhelming, but an overwhelmed that draws me closer to Him, which is where I need to be. How He loves me and spurs me on to maturity in Him. In this week I have been able to see the leaps and bounds I made in my walk with him over the school year, but also knowing and seeing I have infinitely farther to go. It's still really sweet though; to look back on where you were and where you are now, and to see what God has done in that time, and to know that this growth is a process, each bringing trials but with that, blessing.

And with that, God's been revealing to me that this summer is, in a lot of ways, going to be a trial for me. Some ways I know and others I don't. I've had to do a heart evaluation in a sense because throughout my life, I've had so many trials but in those, I've praised God because I know it is those trials that make me stronger. Yet, this trial has been a bit harder to approach, perhaps because I know that it is to be one. It's to be an accelerated time of growth, as I am immersed in God's presence with the things I am doing and the people I am around. It's edifying beyond belief. But, because this summer is a critical time for me and others in so many ways, God is going to teach me things and stretch me in order to do so, and it is my responsibility to make sure I am willing to learn and have a teachable heart. He's reminded me of the fact that in order to have a teachable heart, we must humble ourselves before Him. Not always an easy thing to do, but always worth it.

On another note, my parents have to put my dog to sleep because he's bitten one too many people. Only one was bad, but still...it can't keep happening. It was hard for me because I am the only one who knows how to fully control him and these things don't happen when I am around. Yet, I am not around anymore, for I am in CA and at school. Though this brings sadness, I find myself receiving so much peace from God in it all. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 states "for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die." I find myself remembering my testimony and the years I spent with Flash, and how at times he was the only thing keeping me going. I would come home from school and just bury my face in his neck and cry, and he always knew to lick away my tears, for he could always tell when something was wrong with me. Before I came to know Christ, he was the one whom I could depend on, even when all else failed. His silence was so often what I needed, for with his gaze I knew that he loved me even when it felt like no one else did.

Flash was the dog of my childhood, of my youth. I have so many treasured memories with him and I know that those will all carry on, but as my youth is passing, so must things of my youth. There are so many seasons in which we go through, all bearing different things. When we go to another, there are things that must die and others that must be born. As I become an adult living in the "adult" world, I know I can no longer cling to my childhood. I can take the memories I have of that time, but I must run onward to maturity. And though it is bittersweet and I will miss my dog greatly, I rest contently in the fact that this time of my childhood is past.

And how interesting that is to embrace, that my childhood has passed. It's difficult to put into words, but it's as this picture I took a couple of weeks ago, of a bird spreading its wings in flight as it leaves the security of the branches it clung to. God's telling me it's time to fly. New horizons must be explored, outside of the comforts and security of my home, my parents, best friends, but solely on faith in Him, nothing else. For why do we attempt to find other things to fulfill our need for security and comfort when we know He is provider of all? Such is a lesson of mine this summer.

I'm the cook of this summer project, and my first two meals went off without much trouble at all...and then when it was time to clean up and we were doing so, the kitchen flooded, both nights. We would be washing dishes for 15 min or so, and all would be fine, and then all of a sudden, water would come flowing up from the 5 floor drains, leaving prob at least a half an inch of water on the floor. It's been puzzling me a bit, but as all things do, God will speak to you through it if you listen. And such is the case with this.

I was reading Habakkuk 2:14, and it states "the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord, as the waters cover the sea." After researching and thinking about this a bit, I realize what God was teaching me through this. We can't be so consumed with our work and the things we do, in an attempt to "cleanse," that we don't notice the rising waters. I think so often people in this world, Christians included, attempt to do better, look better, and feel better, in an attempt to cleanse ourselves of our sin. It doesn't work that way. If it did, we wouldn't need a Savior and the death of Christ on the cross would've been no different than the others crucified in that time. God will wipe away our pride and make himself known, and will do so in a way that will get our attention, such as the rising waters, so that we must stop our acts of cleansing and attend to the flood, only to find out we can't do anything. His glory will be shown, and the best thing we can do is quit our acts of cleansing and allow the flood to come of His glory. We can't stop the flood of His glory! Let us not try to, and let us not try to pretend that we can do anything equivalent to it.

The question was asked of me the other day how I was doing. I responded that it was a hard question to answer, for throughout this week, there's been many different answers to that. As I reflected on it, I realized something though. No matter what my emotions have been throughout this week or anytime, and no matter what my circumstances, I am in the grip of God and that is enough. That is all I need to know. As long as I am there, I am where I need to be, and His grace is more than enough.

And lastly, a kind of random ending...I was in Culver City last night and as I was standing on the street corner, I was thinking about the places I've been in a week and the places I will go. The Dr. Seuss book came to mind, and I read through the text again. Some of it definitely applies currently. The places we'll go if we allow God to lead us...the people we will meet and the experiences we have....makes for a lifetime of adventure. Praise Him for He is good!

Oh, the Places You'll Go!
by Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.
It's opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.
OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!
You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.
I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.
You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.
And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...
...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That's not for you!
Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.
I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.
And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!