Emotional Creature

I was at work today sitting down at one of the computers when two flies continued to circle my head and body as they circled one another. It seemed a game of sorts, like tag between flies. However, this aspect I realized in retrospect. Both flies landed and I swiftly killed one with a clipboard and the other left. I didn't see that one again, at least, he didn't bother me anymore. It was a temporary satisfaction until the thought of the fact I perhaps killed the living fly's playmate or something saddened me and filled me with regret. I told one of the guys I work with that thought, and he replied that the flies only live for a week so it can't really be lonely. I then remembered that the flies don't have the brains we do among many other things...

I remember something my Art History professor said a couple of weeks ago quite clearly. She believes in some principles of Buddhism if not all of it, and was talking about how in her past lives, she believes she was an abuser of animals because in her present life she can't bear to see any animal even touched in a harmful way. In the midst of the fly incident, I thought of her and what her reaction would've been. When she told us that a couple of weeks ago, I empathied greatly with the aspect of not bearing to see any harm come to animals or people of any kind.

It amazes me how God created us with such emotions and thoughts that we have. The intensity of which I feel the plethora of emotions in my life has always struck me. I think because of that intensity, I parallel other creatures to have the same thinking process and emotional response I do, even things as ridiculous as flies. They certainly do not have the same functions we do in that capacity. Humans are the only creatures who can emotionally process and think in the way that we do. Jesus came to save the human race, not the race of the flies or any other animal. We are the only creatures who are able to relate and experience God in the closest fullness possible.

My best friend Elise said something really wise to me last week. God has placed things and people in our lives in order that through them we would know Him and love Him better. I think I even wrote about this in my last blog. It's such a profound thought to me that I continue to try to wrap my mind around it. God continues to open my eyes to such things it entails. And today I find myself thinking about how through our emotions and responses, I am better able to see and experience God's heart. Through the intensity of which He has created me as an emotional creature, I am able to know Him better and love Him more. That is cool.

And though the fruit flies are nothing in comparison to the creation God has done in humans, I think next time I will thinki twice about killing them simply because they are an annoyance. Though rationally I know they don't have the same intellect or heart I do, it still hits me a bit...because of who God has created me to be, I just can't simply kill a fly because I don't like it...there's a deeper sense and awareness there in me... that fly had a friend. I empathize too greatly with the principle of the thing rather than the fact of the matter. Sometimes that can be a downfall, but in all essence, it is how my Creator made me, and I will regard it as such.

Though there are times in which the intensity of emotion I feel seems too much to bear, I praise God that I may know Him better in it all...that I may draw near to His heart. He is more than adequate to carry it for me.

But here's my rational thought for the night: "Lord, I am glad I am a human, and not a fly."