Growth

I sit here this morning before my classes watching the wind blow the blades of grass that have grown rather tall on this hill outside my window. The hill is a bit paler green than it was, so at first glance it makes one think that it is beginning to die. However, this is so far from the truth. When one looks closer, it can be seen that each blade of grass has multiplied in a sense. Seeds have burst forth and has made the blade of grass fuller and able to grow more. It's so full that at times it hides the beautiful wildflowers beginning to bloom. They are not always visible because they are shadowed by the grass, but they are there in full beauty. It's been a long while since I've seen purple wildflowers...

I found myself so struck last night at the growth I have seen around me. We were in bible study for the first time in a while, and it was the same girls that I have been with since the beginning of my freshman year, and even my roommate from last year was back. I have seen growth in our bible study as a whole, but I have seen so much growth individually. These girls around me have been soft for the shaping and God is transforming them so beautifully. I looked at each one last night and found them to be doing the thing that she used to hate doing the most, whether that be vulnerability, speaking words, asking questions and probing faith, embracing and forsaking weak points, becoming a leader, a heart for ministry, and even wrestling with our Creator and the shaping being done within. It is amazing to me to look back on where they all have been and remain thankful that I have been able to see it. I find myself baffled a bit today as well at the fact that I was able to pour into these girls intentionally last year, whether that be time, prayer, or other things. It is cool to see how they have changed...

Yet I know it's not of me. I am so quick to claim credit or praise for things and I can't do that...these things only come (or should only come) as an overflow of what God is doing in my own heart. Praise should only be to Him-He is the changer and shaper of hearts alone. I sit here in a strange kind of peace this morning wondering what ways I have grown. I was wrestling with this question a couple weeks back, and honestly, I don't know. As I sat in bible study last night, I felt like there wasn't much growth on my part since last year. I have to remember that this year has not been one of outward change, but rather within, especially in the heart. I have to continue to trust that God is doing His good work in me, even if it's not always apparent. It is so beautiful to see the people around me growing like the blades of grass and know it's just beginning. Perhaps right now I'm a wildflower beginning to bloom...you just can't see it yet.