Continued Shaping

I don't have many words to speak of what God has been and is doing in me. I honestly don't know much of anything. But I do know that He is beyond good and faithful and He who began a good work in me will complete it, and this is the road I am on. What a journey it is to find myself in Him...even with the times of brokenness I have never experienced to this extent before. He will and is doing His good work in me. He pursues me like no other. He loves me too much to leave me alone. Oh praise be to Him!!

These three poems seem to describe rather well the journey as of late. The process is incredibly remarkable to go back and read over and see how God has been shaping me and being faithful beyond compare.

1/19/07
You'd hold all the pieces
I feel I don’t bend this way
But You tell me I can
I feel I don’t turn this way
But You tell me I will
I feel I don’t sit this way
But You say it is better

O Lord the things of myself that I know so well
The things I hold fast to as to the way I am
You seem to say “it shall be no longer.”
And I know in my head Your way is so much better
What will it take to get my heart to fully agree
On this road of brokenness and pain?

To walk by faith when I cannot see
To press on though still I weep
Could it be that it is in me Your love is forming
Requiring and end of myself
Could it be that my heart will beat stronger
Though it is consumed by love as I speak?

O Lord, Your refining fire
It smarts, burns, and stings
In this You know Your purpose full well
But I struggle to see
It is difficult, uncomfortable
And at times almost too much to bear
Yet in all this Lord, I know nothing else but to cling
To hold fast that You know me better
The ways I feel, the ways I bend
And You know the frailty of my heart
If it were to break, You’d hold all the pieces
And in Your image, my heart You’d mend

1/25/07
Will I stand once again?
I have found You in the most difficult of times
When it seems like my pain is too much to bear
It makes my strength be gone
Yet my defenses remain
When You have stripped my cold heart bare
I know it’s the work of Your hand
But what will it take for me to finally fall on my knees
And then stand back up and fully praise You again?

I see You in the desolation of my despair
I find You wiping away my tears that come from the source of my sin
I feel You wrap Your presence around my being
Yet I fear You penetrating my heart

An act of desperation makes me cling to Your very presence
And at the end I find nothing of me remains
How do I pick myself up off the ground
Stand on my feet and lift up my hands
Let a song from my mouth escape
And praise You once again?


1/27/07
No Words can do You justice
If I were to speak of Your majesty
No words could fully do You justice
From the sight of the tufts of life poking through the barren ground
To Your clouds dancing across the sky bearing the work of Your hands
From the waves of the ocean crashing and washing my heart
To the half moon resting on its side smiling at me
O Lord my God, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!

If I were to speak of Your faithfulness
No words could fully do You justice
From the cries of desperation through tears You heard and answered
To moving this grieved heart to praise You again
From the promises You have spoken and never forsaken
To the sweet amazing ways of those You fulfill
O Lord my God, how much more faithful You are than anyone in all the earth!

If I were to speak of Your mercy
No words could fully do You justice
From the time You walked among me when I was a child
To the day You had my heart and took my hand
From the times I fail You and abandon who You are
To Your grace always washing me anew
O Lord my God, to no other can Your mercy compare!

If I were to speak of Your love
No words could fully do You justice
From the little moments and words shared with those dear
To the amazing gift of You fashioning me for my Beloved
From Your greatest sign of love on the cross
To Your endless pursuit of me still
O Lord my God, how Your love is better than anything I’ve ever known

O Lord my God, to You I will raise up and stand
Open my mouth and sing, to You I lift up my hands
This praise song forming in my heart renewing me again
If I were to sing forever the time would be far too short
Because You are the Lord my God and in You alone
I begin to find myself again