Stranger of this World

Psalm 119:17-20: "Do good to Your servant, and I will live; I will obey Your word. Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in Your law. I am a stranger here on earth; do not hide Your commands from me. My soul is consumed with longings for Your laws at all times."

It was really interesting today because as I watched this unbelievable sunset on campus, one of the best I have seen in a long time, I found myself feeling such loneliness and longing within my heart. I feel as I'm the author of the above Psalm in so many ways. As I've just started to feel comfortable here in SLO and at Cal Poly, God chose to rip me away from that, and it's been good as I've been reminded that I am a stranger of this world; my citizenship isn't of here but of Heaven, I am called Heavenward in Christ Jesus. And through this, He's making it more clear than ever why He's calling me to the ends of the earth, because it is only when I'm out of my comfort zone in ways more than I could possibly reason or bear, He is able to work through me to the fullest because I'm solely relying on His strength. In our most vulnerable places, God's able to show His glory and beauty in ways beyond comprehension because it is there that we do not rely on ourselves but cry out for the living God instead.

It is only God who satisfies, but yet, as He satisfies, I only find myself longing for more because I know there's no limit to our God and who He is and what He has in store. I continue to pray that God will not hide His commands from me, because I am a slave bonded to Christ Jesus and there's no other person I'd rather be. And in the Tozer book I'm reading right now, he wrote, "in God's presence [the Christian] feels overwhelmed and undone, yet there is nowhere else he would rather be than in that presence." Though I feel overwhelmed and undone, there is no place I'd rather be.

It’s been interesting walking around campus with a heightened sense of awareness, in a sense, seeing things as if by the eyes of our Father. He's been doing that so much since I got here, and I find myself at such unrest because there’s an outward appearance of peace and calm on the campus, people content and happy, while it’s so far from the actual reality. And so often I find myself praying to Him to wake up this generation and have them fall on their knees and revere Him, for Him to open their eyes and capture their hearts like never before. I’m sick of watching people satisfy the flesh and following the aimless ways of this world, even Christians on campus do this too. How long are we going to be blind to His presence and His glory and purpose? How can we be blind to it? I continue to pray He will wake them up and arouse their spirits to see that this world has nothing to offer them, but He has everything to offer them, and they must turn to Him to receive that.

It’s also been interesting to see how instead of being on the inside with ministry here on campus, such as being more intimate with people and friendships, so often I find myself on the outside because God has placed me there. Even the people he's placed before me, though I still play a role, it’s a different role than I expected. I’m still praying He will reveal that to me, because it’s not very clear right now. Right now I’ve really seen how He's put the passion within me to discipleship and raise up leaders, and I wonder if that might be part of His purpose for me on the outside, to see the situation as a whole and do what needs to be done accordingly to His will. But God is faithful, this I know full well, and He will reveal it to me as He wishes.

I urge you though, don't sit back any longer. Take hold of our God, strong and mighty in power yet a tender lover at the same time. See and understand the abundant life He's called you to. Because I promise you, once you've experienced it, you too will find there's no other place you'd rather be.