Grip of Eternity

This is a long one...beware.

Opposition has been such a central theme of late. Never before have I faced so much opposition personally and have heard of fierce opposition going on in my brother and sister’s lives as well. God is moving with us and showing us each so much and Satan is so unhappy with that. With me, there were so many different things that happened. Basically praying with power for my family started so much opposition because I know how God is going to use them in HUGE ways when they turn to Him and Satan opposes that bitterly. I know how much God can use me through that and I’m seeing that…never before have I seen my mom seeking what I have so earnestly; God is beckoning her and it’s coming soon, I know this. Then God has really been leading me to change my major and it’s been a long process, but I finally figured out what I am supposed to be doing (which still has to happen, but I know God will work it out), and basically it’s going to be a bachelor in fine arts with a concentration in graphic design and then a minor in graphic communication. It’s kind of hard to explain exactly how this all will work and apply to my life with what God wants me to do…this I can’t completely divulge right now, but as soon as this was decided, the attack started on me like I have never experienced before and from that I know God has some absolutely amazing plans in this that Satan is so unhappy with that he had to bring me down as hard as he could. I was sick and I couldn’t move or get out of bed, every time I stood up I almost passed out and it was such a battle…my mind was sharp because I knew that this was his attempt to bring me down and after the very beginning I wouldn’t let him have control of my mind so he had to try to bring me down with my body. My flesh is so weak, I hate it, but my God is stronger still, and fought for me He did and is. As I was laying in bed and couldn’t move, God brought me to Isaiah and spoke to me in such sweet, amazing ways…God’s given me two very specific visions with the Cal Poly campus and the last one showed how what happens at Cal Poly will spread out to the world, that last part I’m not exactly sure of how yet, but God confirmed those visions with His word. It was Isaiah 59:19: -“From the west, men will fear the name of the Lord, and from the rising of the sun, they will revere his glory. For he will come like a pent-up flood that the breath of the Lord drives along.” Over this entire break I have been praying that while Cal Poly is slumbering, God will enter it in a way He never has before and completely consume it. As a result of these prayers God gave me two visions of what will happen, and it’s so intense yet so beautiful…I came face to face with my Lord as a result and was sobbing in sheer emotion, every kind of emotion you can imagine. So that was amazing to see how God fought for me and showed me so much even in the midst of so much opposition. And God brought me out of it, my Lord fought for me like He promises He will, and He is always faithful. I am still experiencing the warfare in some dimension rather constantly because God is calling me and showing me so much that Satan will always be opposing that. Tozer states that “The Spirit-filled life, as many might suppose, is not a life of peace and quiet pleasure. It is likely to be viewed as something quite opposite,” and this is so true. But never will I trade it. Never will I give it up, and I pray you won’t either. We have tasted and seen what is good, and why should we ever return back to what isn’t, no matter what the sacrifice we must make shall be? And there were other passages in Isaiah that uplifted and encouraged me, along with one specific passage stating God’s purpose for me in so many ways…but that is something I must let Him continue to cultivate within me.

It’s weird because this is my first time being home in 3 months, this is where I was born and raised, yet I haven’t liked being home, and I couldn’t figure out why for the longest time. But it’s clear now. Basically the last 9 or so months I was here was an extremely dry period for me and though God still prepared me and was faithful, I hated being in that position and don’t ever want to go back. Going to SLO I have experienced the abundant river of life in every way, fashion and form, and so coming back here reminds me of that stagnation I had in so many ways and it just kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. God brought me to SLO for so many reasons, reasons I know now and many I have yet to see. But that doesn’t mean that when I am home that I must return to that stagnation. I was really convicted last night talking with a good friend of mine from high school. Looking back I really see now how God was able to use me in many ways with people in high school, for God allowed me to love them and be there for them in ways other people weren’t. And I saw this last night with my friend. It’s a really really long story about who she is and what she’s been through, but basically she’s been raised Mormon, so she has some good beliefs and some off the wall beliefs. She was engaged and now is not though plans remain to be married to this guy in Iraq. He just left a couple of weeks ago for his second tour, and God has been breaking Dani and convicting her how she hasn’t been living the life she should be and how she wandered so far from God. It was amazing to see how God placed me before her in this exact time, for I was able to speak to her about brokenness and the beauty of our Lord in healing that, and also speak of my own experiences in that very thing. She knows she needs to be right with God before anything with her “fiancée” can happen. We talked some about Mormon doctrine, and though I disagreed with so much of it, more so last night than ever I realized how the gospel MUST be a gospel of love. I know that is why my parents aren’t Christians today, because the gospel was never spoken to them out of love, but rather out of fear and anger. And though there were things I strongly disagreed with in the doctrine, that wasn’t what was important. What was important was showing her God’s love and being honest with her that things aren’t always going to be easy, and especially this time of brokenness and conviction won’t be, but how God is always faithful to it. It was amazing to see the Holy Spirit at work in this two and a half hour conversation because we were both near tears and she almost broke because God was using me in so many ways to convict her and show her hope and love, and it was an amazing place to be. We are called to speak the truth out of love, and if we don’t do this, then all we do is push people away. I am experiencing this more than ever, because God are placing so much love for others within me, and I’m able to speak the gospel to them so much more because of the love being shown, and they are so much more receptive to it. We must be messengers of love. And it might seem like I’m saying that out of this presenting the gospel of love, we’re watering it down so that it’s not the full gospel being presented. But it’s so far from the truth. Look at how God has completely captured us with His love and peace and everything, and how our lives drip with that. Though we face so much opposition, our lives drip with those fruits of the spirit, and that’s what we are presenting the Gospel out of. We let those things overflow into other people’s lives so that through us, they can experience what knowing You is all about because they see who You are in our lives. And because of seeing that and seeing how we are genuine, which is so critical, they want that for themselves too and it challenges them and makes them think and seriously ponder what it is all about.

I just got done watching this ABC news special about different views of Heaven, from different perspectives and religions. New Life, a church 5 min from my house, was on there, with Ted Haggard and the Furnace and then Joel Osteen’s church and then the Dali Lama and an Islam head and then other various people as well. I got so frustrated as I watched this because I’m so tired of seeing truth being so distorted and it really saddens me to see that God is being reduced to so little, such as scientists claiming that our spirituality is due to a gene mutation within us. Why do we, the world, accept such fiction as fact, when Our God is an ever-present God and He is the very source of life? Even in Islam, their view of heaven is paradise, which is the most worldly thing I’ve heard of. If you are a martyr, then you receive 72 virgins when you go to paradise to enjoy, and there are streams of milk and honey and everything so you can fulfill your desires of the flesh. What kind of heaven is this? What is the point of heaven if it’s that worldly? My heart breaks for the people who believe this because they are missing out on so much. There were atheists talking about how we didn’t exist before we were born and we won’t exist after we die, this life is all that we have and we might as well make the most of it. But in that, all they receive is the satisfaction of fulfilling the desires of the flesh and pursuing a world that is wandering so aimlessly and we know that never will they be satisfied. The Dali Lama talked about how we must be good. The purpose of life is to be good, so you will be reborn and reach Nirvana eventually. I don’t know about you but I want more than good. I want more than a worldly heaven. I want more than just spiritual experiences that are contributed to a supposedly “mutant” gene within me. I know my God and I know who He is and I know He can be that and so much more to everyone, and it breaks my heart that they don’t know that. I get this sick feeling because so much of the world is so blind to who He is and it’s so sad to see how He is going to have to break them in order for them to acknowledge that yes, He is God and He possesses all wisdom and power and glory. And it’s weird that I’ve been exposed to so much doctrine and religion over the past two days, starting with a Mormon friend last night and continuing on to tonight. It’s saddening and sickening to see the focus of this world so distorted to what it should be. God has created us in His image yet we are so far from that. People are uncomfortable with the truth because it requires humility and brokenness and fear and because they don’t want to face that, they are creating their own versions of truth or following one that makes them comfortable. And I don’t know about everyone else but I am so tired of being comfortable. I want to be face to face with my God and His Glory and power and if it strikes me dead because it’s too much to handle, so be it. But there is nothing else I want and I don’t want a watered-down God, I want God in the fullest way, in His full presence and glory. I want all of the power he has to bestow upon us. And I want this world to wake up and see God for who He is, and I don’t care how uncomfortable it makes people. It’s time to be uncomfortable. It’s time to fear, it’s time to be broken, because no longer can we go on in the ways we are. There’s so much more I can say that God has risen up in me, but that’s sufficient for now. So I pray in Christ’s name that He will arise the nations, cast them down to a point of brokenness so they see Him and then have them fear Him and turn to Him. I’m crying as I write this because it saddens me so much that we are at this point as a world, and that people are going to have to go through this, but I know my God is greater and that His purpose is eternal. Therefore, I pray He will do whatever it takes to restore these people back to Him.

God is amazingly beautiful at what He does with everything. I am seeing this in my life especially as He’s clarifying so many things in my life and really cultivating what my testimony is. I am seeing how He plucked me from the miry pit, from the depths of near hell, and has been unbelievable in bringing me to where I am today. Though I have so far to go and still hate my flesh, I know God will complete His good work in me. And I pray He will capture you all in the same way and take you deeper and higher and farther than you’ve ever been before, even in the midst of opposition, because there’s no better place to be.

Grip of Eternity
Here I am in the grip of eternity
No longer in the grip of the one who tries to pull me down
Never again blind to his foolish schemes
You have called me by name and that’s who I’m going to be

In Your arms will I stay
In Your arms will I be
Knowing Your touch tangibly
Will I go? Will I stray?
No, never, because I know that’s a price too heavy to pay
So forever here will I be, in the grip of eternity
Nowhere else I’d rather be

The power You have given I receive
The power You’ve given isn’t fully for free
There’s a price to pay and myself I lay
For your fire to consume me
Every sacrifice to make, there I will be
In the grip of eternity