One Who Sticks Closer than a Brother

“A man of too many companions comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24

I don’t think I’ve ever quite experienced having two different emotions at the same time that on the surface contradict each other, but in reality perfectly complement one another. But it is possible, I am learning.

For those of you who don’t know, my best friend is going on a year-long missions trip next year to East Asia with Campus Crusade for Christ. The time for her to go is nearing more and more each day, moreso in the reality that this quarter is ending and we are each respectively going home for the summer. I will see her before her training time before she leaves the country in August though.

It’s been coming together for a while now, but it really all started to hit me tonight at our weekly Campus Crusade meeting when they were talking about the team that is currently there. She will be part of the team “taking over” that team. I could include more practical details about it, but that’s really not the point of this entry.

I looked over at her as they were playing the slideshow of the current team and talking about them, and she was steady as can be while I was trying to keep it together. In looking at her, I
was completely overwhelmed with everything. The woman who I am humbled to call my best friend is one of incredible strength and grace. In looking at her tonight, it was as if I remembered the three years of lessons, trials, joys and sorrows she has been through all in one. And she has never been more ready to go than now. I’m overwhelmed at the measure of God’s hand working in her life to bring her to this point. She was apologizing to me the other day for a conversation we had over the weekend, in which she thought she was “messy.” Perhaps the words were, but the heart was not. There is this remarkable full surrender in her life that is more tangible than she knows. She is no longer holding anything on her own. And she has never been more ready to go than now.

Yesterday we sat in the exact same spot on campus in which we had our first long, serious talk our Freshman year. I remember that girl well. I remember her being guarded, both timid and prideful at the same time. I remember her attempting to learn what it meant to give and receive love with the people around her, allowing others to come in. But still then, God had His hand in her, as He always does. Her walls started coming down. She started embracing the freedom found in our Lord. She started to learn what it meant to truly step out in faith and let God move. She started learning what it looks like to fall in love with God, not simply just know Him through the mind.

That was when I first came to know her. It would take me days upon end to write of what God has done in her and with her in the last two years since Freshman year. But in reality, I think where she stands now says enough, for it is through those lessons learned that she stands where she is now.

I see a woman beyond description. I see one fully branded with the mark and love of God that sets her apart. I see one whose love for God flows out to all those around her, as she understands her love is not her own. I see one who is bearing fruit in every area of her life, especially as of late, because of her full surrender to Him. I see her family challenged and changed by the character God has given her. I see one who is a faithful and trusted confidant of more people than one could imagine. I see one who always pursues our Lord, no matter what the cost. I see one who is strong because she is now realizing her strength is not her own. I see one full of grace because she receives it from the source. I see one fully humble because she is understanding nothing is her own. I see one whose love for truth only pushes her further. I see one fully at rest, a contradiction to who she normally is. I see all of this and so much more, and it is through her complete surrender to the Lord that these things are.

And when I see this and think about the path that God has led her on throughout her life, but particularly the last couple of years to bring her to this point, I am overwhelmed. She has never been more ready to go than now. I cannot tell you what happens inside of me when I think about what God is going to do in her and around her this next year. She is truly being anointed with the Spirit of the Sovereign Lord to bring the good news and so much more. That’s what excites me the most, because she herself, will not be doing or accomplishing anything, but only the Spirit through her will. The possibilities are endless. When one does not place any limit upon what God can do with him/her, one opens up the expanse of all infinite power of our God to move. The Creator has His way in His creature. That is the way it should be, but so few get it. She does.

The complementary emotion comes with me realizing what a friend and blessing I have in her. I think I am overwhelmed both at what I have been given in her and in the reality of her not being here next year. She truly is my “right-hand woman.” She is one of few people in my life that knows me, fully and completely. She is one in whom I can find rest, and for me, those people are few. Some would say we are inseparable, and to some extent we are. However, I think people miss something deeper. There is a bond between us that I know is inseparable even across an entire ocean, because we are bonded together by the Spirit. That can never be severed. And though I know we won’t be in the same physical place next year, I know our friendship is firmly built upon the rock of Christ. But that isn’t to say that I won’t miss her. Because I will. Quite a bit.

She’s told me many times over the years what my friendship means to her. I don’t think I’ve told her fully or enough what hers means to me. Perhaps part of that is due to the fact I haven’t had quite a full understanding of it until now. In so many ways I’ve taken her for granted. She has loved me fully and unconditionally. She has pursued me unlike anyone I’ve ever known. She has been the most steady presence in my life over the past three years. She has laughed with me, cried with me, listened like no other, and has rejoiced with me. She has always let me be who I am to the fullest. I don’t think I’ve felt quite that same freedom with anyone else.
I’ve often told her that if people want to learn how to best love me in the way I communicate and receive love, they should look to her. And I still stand by that statement.

She is much more than just a friend. She’s my confidant, my accountability, my sister, my best friend. One who sticks closer than a brother.

And I’ve never been more thankful for her than now.