On the Brink

I haven’t written anything specifically on here in a while, almost a month and a half. I haven’t been led to in this time, and am still not quite led to. There has been a necessity to allude to things that God is doing in hopes that people who read this would seek out God in the greater mystery of it all. There has been a necessity to not attempt to scientifically lay everything out like a lab report of what has been happening, but rather let choice language and words be composed with one another to allow God to sing a greater song through the words written.
There has been a movement in my heart and around me unlike any other that surpasses words. There’s been a melody shaping and taking its root deep within that comes only from God. He has been consuming me from the inside out…

And even still, tonight I am not yet to get into specifics. I strongly feel that time beginning to come to an end as God leads me into what comes next.

But what I can say tonight is that the grand scheme and scale of things is far beyond anything tangible that we can hold onto and understand. I know that at least with me, I have felt like I have been living a life that just doesn’t seem quite real. It doesn’t seem like I am actually living this, actually experiencing what is happening. The words of Isaiah ring so true in that the Lord’s thoughts and ways are so much higher than mine, and the words of David saying that such knowledge is too lofty for him to attain resonate within my heart. What keeps taking me by surprise is God continues to lead and grant knowledge as to what He is doing and how I am to respond. Yet with that, I think the proportion of how much I understand and His actual thoughts remains consistent; I still have barely scratched the surface.

I have been seeing and experiencing the spiritual realm like no other lately. God is doing a tremendous work and with that, Satan is bitterly fighting it. My best friend asked me last night “how are you doing?” and I replied that I am fine. I am fine. I am firmly planted on the rock and my feet are not shaken. What may appear to make me “not fine” is the amount of what is happening to me and through me and around me. The spiritual realm of Heaven and Hell are surely battling it out. However, in the midst of it, I am seldom fazed because it is a battle that has already been won. Jesus said he saw Satan fall from the sky like lightning. He has no authority in Heaven; he has been cast out. He still bitterly fights, but he fights a losing battle. In the midst of all of the spiritual warfare I have been experiencing, there has been such a great peace because I know my God is victorious. He has already won.

And I know that with such opposition from Satan, God is doing a tremendous work. With me personally, there is a tremendous anointing happening upon me…and again, I am not yet going to get into specifics, but I find myself floored at it and what it entails. I find myself amazed that I am not really overwhelmed by it, and it is amazing to see the work God has done in my heart. These things don’t overwhelm me because they are not in my own and are not in my hands.

You see, more now than ever God has been teaching me what a true surrender to Him truly looks like. I have been seeing the ways I so miserably fail in this but have also been seeing the triumphant areas in which Jesus has conquered. With this anointing, I know nothing better to do but be fully surrendered. It’s the deepest desire of my heart because I remain incredibly humbled that God would have me in this position. I’m incredibly humbled because I look back on my life and see different aspects of what God has done and how they all come together in its own time…the magnitude of it I can’t comprehend though. It is so far beyond me and I only know in part. But that part I know now…how incredible it is!

Because here I am, 21 years old, and I feel as if my life could be culminating with the grand things that are happening and are on the brink…yet I find myself completely dumbfounded at how this is only just a fragment of what God has yet to do. How great is our God. How GREAT is our God…

And perhaps this is where I am to leave it tonight…that no matter where you are at, God has your life ordained in such incredible ways that you may not know of now or for quite some time, or even at all. But God did not create you in vain. He created You with the greatest love of all time, and He surely has a plan and purpose for all things. He will make His glory known. And He will make his pursuit of you evident. All he requires is your heart and your surrender…
And trust me. Regardless of anything else, at His feet is the best place to be.