It’s weird that it’s the end of another quarter and this one has completely flown by. Granted, I am excited to be done and to see what else lies in store, but with this, it is interesting to note what changes God is bringing and has begun this week. I will not be able to convey it to you because I haven’t been able to convey it to myself yet, but things are coming back…this time better. What that means only God can tell.
There’s been so many thoughts running through my head this week and so many things God is speaking to me about, and I haven’t had this for quite some time. I’m not going to rush what God is doing here because I often do that; however, tonight there is something pressing on my heart that I want to search out.
“The Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was to go” Luke 10:1.
Elise brought this up tonight when we were down at farmers and it put the clincher on one of the things that has been laying on my heart as of late.
Through many different things, God has opened my eyes to what an incredible blessing I have in Elise. There is no other friendship in my life quite like ours. Every friendship I have is different because every person brings something different to the table and there is a new mix, and I am so thankful for each one of them. Yet I am profoundly struck at how enriching this friendship has been to me…
We are to give our all to each other and to God all the time. This is so rare in our society, as John and I have been talking about as well. It’s even rare in our Christian circles. I know I am guilty of it as well. I tire of pouring out into others who don’t pour back into me. It shows that I am not letting God be the source of my love. What a sin that is…
But when that sin of not giving our all and loving in the way Jesus loves us is overcome, how blissfully sweet it is! Every time I meet with Elise I can’t help but think that God is smiling and delighting in the friendship He has given us. Bounds have been overcome, walls broken down, and a blessed friendship abounds.
Oh my dear sister who laughs with me, taking delight in the things quirky about me, or the inside jokes that we share…to the times when she has watched tears of pain streaming down my face and offers such a presence of peace…to the times when we pour out our struggles and understanding that this journey God has us on isn’t easy…to the times when we simply delight in one another in the fact that we get to meet…again. and again.
And again. How God has ordained the time that we spend together…in what seems like impossible schedules to match up and meet, we see each other so often. God knows we need each other. And God intentionally puts us together. Again and again.
I have had the blessing of watching her grow in her walk with the Lord in immense ways over the last year and a half. How beautiful her heart and how tender her spirit is. I have watched her lay her life down at the Lord’s feet over and over again, desiring His best, and having one of the most beautiful spirits of repentance I have ever seen.
It’s her honesty that penetrates me. She holds nothing back and in this, makes me realize how much I do. How God is using her to make me open up in the same way.
It’s her love that captures me. She loves our Savior more than words could ever express and devotes herself to Him endlessly. She displays selfless love more so than anyone I have ever met, constantly giving her all to the people around her.
This selfless love I have never experienced quite in this way before. I have never had anyone pour into me and initiate things with me quite in the way that she has. It’s been wonderful, refreshing, much needed.
There’s so much more I could say about her and our friendship, but I’ll wrap it up with this. God has provided exactly with what we need. And as we walk on our own adventures with one another with arms around each other’s backs, we know that we’re not alone. And that is good.
Continuing on to another point with this…
About a month ago God posed me with the question and situation of being alone without my love. He separated me for a time in order that I may learn that I am capable of letting go even when it’s the last thing I want to do. He taught me so much through this, but the question is a little…discomforting. I don’t know what the future implications of what this will entail, and God is continuing to teach me to trust Him with it.
I would say that I have walked in life alone for the most part even with people surrounding me. The first 6 years of my walk with the Lord were spent in a non Christian household, so I learned much about developing my relationship with God on my own. My faith has always been my own and it has been sweet to see where He has met me with this. I had many amazing friends and influences and parents around me, but I’ve always walked solitary to some degree. My life has been solely me and God.
A huge part of what God has been teaching me over this year is vulnerability and letting people in. There’s much I could say with this and I already have before, but basically God has been changing this solitary nature of myself greatly. I still enjoy my occasional times alone and still need that greatly, but I no longer want to walk life alone. I want to share life. I want people around me.
And I was hugely struck by what Jesus did with His disciples…He sent them out two by two. Not alone. Not even in groups of three or four or five. Those groups do have their purpose, but I am thinking that life is meant to be shared intimately with one person. We are to walk journeys with one person at a time.
I see this in my friendship with Elise in a huge way. We are walking the journey of discovering the women God has us to be together. It is sweet and intimate and blessed.
I see this with John and the friendship we had/have and the beginnings of this in our relationship. As we press on to what God has for us, it will continue to develop and grow.
I no longer want to be alone. I want those friendships in my life. In particular, I want to continue to walk with Elise, and I want to be with John, the one I love.
And honestly, it’s sometimes really hard to say goodbye, even for a short time, because of how dear they are to me…I won’t get into the details here though.
Jesus sent His disciples out by the two, so they wouldn’t walk alone.
And I can honestly say now that I strongly desire someone by my side.
There’s been so many thoughts running through my head this week and so many things God is speaking to me about, and I haven’t had this for quite some time. I’m not going to rush what God is doing here because I often do that; however, tonight there is something pressing on my heart that I want to search out.
“The Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was to go” Luke 10:1.
Elise brought this up tonight when we were down at farmers and it put the clincher on one of the things that has been laying on my heart as of late.
Through many different things, God has opened my eyes to what an incredible blessing I have in Elise. There is no other friendship in my life quite like ours. Every friendship I have is different because every person brings something different to the table and there is a new mix, and I am so thankful for each one of them. Yet I am profoundly struck at how enriching this friendship has been to me…
We are to give our all to each other and to God all the time. This is so rare in our society, as John and I have been talking about as well. It’s even rare in our Christian circles. I know I am guilty of it as well. I tire of pouring out into others who don’t pour back into me. It shows that I am not letting God be the source of my love. What a sin that is…
But when that sin of not giving our all and loving in the way Jesus loves us is overcome, how blissfully sweet it is! Every time I meet with Elise I can’t help but think that God is smiling and delighting in the friendship He has given us. Bounds have been overcome, walls broken down, and a blessed friendship abounds.
Oh my dear sister who laughs with me, taking delight in the things quirky about me, or the inside jokes that we share…to the times when she has watched tears of pain streaming down my face and offers such a presence of peace…to the times when we pour out our struggles and understanding that this journey God has us on isn’t easy…to the times when we simply delight in one another in the fact that we get to meet…again. and again.
And again. How God has ordained the time that we spend together…in what seems like impossible schedules to match up and meet, we see each other so often. God knows we need each other. And God intentionally puts us together. Again and again.
I have had the blessing of watching her grow in her walk with the Lord in immense ways over the last year and a half. How beautiful her heart and how tender her spirit is. I have watched her lay her life down at the Lord’s feet over and over again, desiring His best, and having one of the most beautiful spirits of repentance I have ever seen.
It’s her honesty that penetrates me. She holds nothing back and in this, makes me realize how much I do. How God is using her to make me open up in the same way.
It’s her love that captures me. She loves our Savior more than words could ever express and devotes herself to Him endlessly. She displays selfless love more so than anyone I have ever met, constantly giving her all to the people around her.
This selfless love I have never experienced quite in this way before. I have never had anyone pour into me and initiate things with me quite in the way that she has. It’s been wonderful, refreshing, much needed.
There’s so much more I could say about her and our friendship, but I’ll wrap it up with this. God has provided exactly with what we need. And as we walk on our own adventures with one another with arms around each other’s backs, we know that we’re not alone. And that is good.
Continuing on to another point with this…
About a month ago God posed me with the question and situation of being alone without my love. He separated me for a time in order that I may learn that I am capable of letting go even when it’s the last thing I want to do. He taught me so much through this, but the question is a little…discomforting. I don’t know what the future implications of what this will entail, and God is continuing to teach me to trust Him with it.
I would say that I have walked in life alone for the most part even with people surrounding me. The first 6 years of my walk with the Lord were spent in a non Christian household, so I learned much about developing my relationship with God on my own. My faith has always been my own and it has been sweet to see where He has met me with this. I had many amazing friends and influences and parents around me, but I’ve always walked solitary to some degree. My life has been solely me and God.
A huge part of what God has been teaching me over this year is vulnerability and letting people in. There’s much I could say with this and I already have before, but basically God has been changing this solitary nature of myself greatly. I still enjoy my occasional times alone and still need that greatly, but I no longer want to walk life alone. I want to share life. I want people around me.
And I was hugely struck by what Jesus did with His disciples…He sent them out two by two. Not alone. Not even in groups of three or four or five. Those groups do have their purpose, but I am thinking that life is meant to be shared intimately with one person. We are to walk journeys with one person at a time.
I see this in my friendship with Elise in a huge way. We are walking the journey of discovering the women God has us to be together. It is sweet and intimate and blessed.
I see this with John and the friendship we had/have and the beginnings of this in our relationship. As we press on to what God has for us, it will continue to develop and grow.
I no longer want to be alone. I want those friendships in my life. In particular, I want to continue to walk with Elise, and I want to be with John, the one I love.
And honestly, it’s sometimes really hard to say goodbye, even for a short time, because of how dear they are to me…I won’t get into the details here though.
Jesus sent His disciples out by the two, so they wouldn’t walk alone.
And I can honestly say now that I strongly desire someone by my side.
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