Measured Recklessness

Statue at Brooklyn Botanical Gardens, 2011 ©EG

You are stronger and more fragile than you ever mean to be.

In a given moment, you may be blissfully aware of your strengths, painfully aware of your weaknesses, or ignorant to one or the other or even both.

So often you live your life as your own. It is easy to do this when triumphs, blessings, and growth roll your way. Invigorating. Exciting. Blissful.

Yet, in the next moment, it all can change—circumstances conspire that creep up slowly or fall heavily as if the weight of the world were suddenly dropped. It is then you remember there are so many things out of your control. Change. Sickness. Loss. Death. Visible signs that this world is not yet fully redeemed. And then, it creates times when you wonder if it ever will be. Painful. Humbling. Sobering. And there are other times when it's incredibly convicting that you are not who you wish to be. Despite all your best actions and intentions, still you fail, still you fall short, time and time again. You are left wallowing, discouraged.

And you wonder, does anyone know?

Does anyone know exactly what you feel, what you are going through, what you are thinking? You have those moments of encouragement, when it seems someone is able to empathize, right? But the other times in between seem to be filled with words being spoken to you, noise in the situation in which you find yourself in…

Empty words.
Idle words.
Repetitive words.
Trite words.
Hurtful words.
Or a complete lack of words.

It sometimes seems to drive the point further home that you might have to try to figure this out alone. Yet, alone? Relief and dread come instantaneously. If then, there is no one, then there must be someone? At least One who knows, who hears, who understands, in a sea full of others who don't.

But where can He be found?

...

I look around...no one yet. I wander to find...nothing yet.

I listen to hear...hear...and I hear...

"Incline your ear, and come to me;
hear, that your soul may live;
and I will make with you an everlasting covenant..."

That my soul shall live? An everlasting covenant, made with me? By whom?

"Oh, seek me, I the Lord, while I may be found;
call upon me while you are near;
Forsake your wicked ways and unrighteous thoughts. 
Return to me, and I will have compassion on you,
and I will abundantly pardon." 

There is One near, full of compassion and forgiveness? Oh, the thought of this...I am moved to consider...

"My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven
and do not return there but water the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.


Do you believe that I sent this word for you?


I desire you to know Me, to believe that I wish you go out in my joy
and be led forth in my peace.

That when it seems that no one knows or understands, you can trust that I do. 

That when it seems the load is too heavy and the burden too great, I can carry it.

That when it seems you are a lost face in the crowd, you see that I see you. 

That in the times of despair and loneliness, I will cradle you.

That in the times You are wrong and fall short, I will give you discipline, yet with grace.

That in the times of great trial and strife, I will stand with you and fight for you.

That in the times of your joy of greatest measure, I will rejoice with you.

I know your heart, my dear one. I know you, and I will always hold you. 



So how then, shall you live?

Trust Me recklessly. 

Excerpts from Isaiah 55 throughout